Labour Day 2017: The Future of Labour

I booked this day off, and I’m trying not to think of work; I’m not doing that successfully. My weekend was loaded with enough tasks that constitute a full few days of putting chaos to order. Long story short, I was dealing with the results of electrical and steam pressure explosions, plus putting out fires in the floor below me. Add the shooting that happened down the block last Thursday, and it makes me think I'd be safer in Afghanistan. I exaggerate though. The electrical explosion was more like a humongous zap from the power supply in my 10 year old desktop PC, the steam pressure was from a weakened emergency release valve on an old pressure cooker I had, and the fire downstairs was a lapse in judgement from an elderly resident who left the building without shutting her stove off. The shooting, unfortunately, was real. Gang related methinks. I've been fixing everything around here including the kitchen sink, quite literally. The corroded drain fell apart, and on top of salvaging components, hard drives and data from my desktop, I was soldering screwing in and soldering pipes. I'm not really bitter about it all though. It was stuff that I should have done late last year/early this year: things that were already on my to do lists before my arm was injured. I welcomed the escape into doing something more logical and methodical with materials aside from just cooking and writing. 

My thoughts stray to the state I was in around time last year, and remembering the fears that I had about having complications from my surgery, and not recovering fully, with the possibility of rendered to a state where I’d be partially disabled. If this aspect of the past wasn’t enough to bother me, even though I recovered fully from it, thoughts of what the future possibly holds in terms of work and labour in general are sparking in my mind as well. These thoughts were also prompted from me perusing science and tech magazines and periodicals during my down time. Tinkering with and pulling the guts out of my old computer was a prompt too.

I also blame it on a program on CBC radio I was listening to yesterday for getting this all started, which was an interview with a leading intellect and authority about the very real possibilities and global impacts of the further exponential advancement of AI (artificial intelligence), cybernetics, and robotics in sectors the work force, where there are scenarios of human labour being rapidly rendered obsolete due to more efficient computers, the inexhaustibility of machine power, and the increasingly more intricate and variable operations that robots are being designed to perform. It is already making an impact now. White collar jobs are even no longer safe. There is a computerized AI ‘lawyer’ now operating in New York which can review and summarize law matters many times more faster and efficiently than any human attorney. Banks and investment firms are relying on computer algorithms more and on humans less to make many times faster than lightning quick decisions on where and how to invest capital. What does this mean for our economic system based on the need for humans to make an income to consume stuff, the distribution of wealth, and purposeful creation of services and resources to give our currencies value; our sense of welfare and job security based on employability and ridiculous standards of meritocracy, our standard of health and education and how they would radically change, our sociological and psychological well-being, or our remaining services that can’t simply be replaced by microchip loaded black boxes. What role is left for a human where the machine not only replaces the worker, but no longer is in control by a human being because of ever advancing AI? What does that all ultimately mean for whatever progress was made by the Unions and labour movement on behalf of human labourers?

Elon Musk, Stephan Hawking, and other intellects and innovators are already beginning to warn us about unchecked development and advancement of AI, and the approach of the singularity*: the point in our history, where as futurist Ray Kurzweil said, when all computer technology and their networks would be in a state of being fully integrated and able to operate autonomously. This leads to all sorts of scenarios, mostly negative, including the extreme of purposeful AI generated enslavement or extermination of human beings, like the futures in the Matrix or the Terminator movies.

There are too many questions with too many vague and abstract answers to these matters for me to entertain. If there are any positives that I’d like to see happen from the inevitable displacement of people by cybernetics it would be the following:

·         More time on our hands to create purpose in designing and building sustainable communities and environments

·         Less wasted and expended time and energy just for the sake of presenteeism

·         The reassessment of the value of the low-paying, yet intricate and essential jobs that a robot can’t do for people, like assisting sick and disabled people with heavy care needs.

·         Less accidents and injury, because robots replace humans in high risk work environments

·         More time to devote for securing and raising families better, the most essential job, instead of being divided from them all the time with commitments at work

·         A change in school curricula that teaches kids to behave like human beings, instead of preparing them to be just a bunch of hypercompetitive tools to be exploited (or exploiters) as they develop into their adulthood.

·         A radical change in a culture of elitism, with (hopefully) an implementation of UBI (Universal Basis Income) strategy to divide and distribute wealth generated by automatons.

Some of these things are just in the sky, others I’m probably looking upon naively, but whatever the case, I sense a great and massive upheaval in the very near future centred on this very issue. One that I haven’t even scratched the surface of.

*- Ray predicted that the level of technology that would allow this to happen will be available sometime between 2040 -2045, some pundits say it may happen even sooner. Whatever the case, there may be a chance that it will occur in my lifetime, thus there is merit into thinking about such matters and scenarios.

Approaching Solstice

I've been getting better throughout the past couple weeks. I would estimate that I've now recovered to some point between 65 and 75 percent of my pre-embolism self. Now however, it feels like I'm in a bit of a stall phase. I probably reached that point where the clots may have subsided, but the scar tissue that's left behind is slower to get through. Being able to get out during the brief thaw phase of this month to at least get some good fresh air and away from my own walls from time to time has been a relief. I still have to be wary and mindful about exposure to people with colds and the flu. I was warned that contracting anything with symptoms of respiratory impairment, even to a relatively mild degree, would put me several steps backward from recovery if I'm not careful. Thus, running out to a crowded mall to do Christmas shopping hasn't been on my to-do list. I did go out during a couple less busy days and times of the week, more so to meet up and visit with some friends and familiars than to do anything else. Otherwise, the only real physically active and sometimes social thing I've been doing is taking Ella out to the dog park.

So, now with it being payday, and the realization that Christmas is only six days away*, I now have a fire lit under my ass to finish my Christmas shopping. Being amongst the teeming hordes of shoppers is now unavoidable. Inspiration and ideas have been so far alluding me.
 
After being shut in for so long, and finally getting some more of my stamina and energy back, I strongly felt the need to explore: to get out and tour new places, see new things. I've become desperate for novelty. I also received a bit of a settlement recently; as tempting as it is to book a trip somewhere, I won't be medically fit for air travel for some while (Boo!). All the places I want to travel to are markedly more expensive than most vacation packages to Vegas or Mexico anyway, and will need more time to save for these locales. I hope the falling fuel prices help with achieving such a goal sooner.
 
In a past entry I talked about finding a substitute pastime for running, cycling and skiing. Well, recently I thought I should make good on not just making that lip service. I was inspired by a figure of a gargoyle in a bar recently and got to perusing some magazines in Indigo to consider taking up wood-carving. As cheap as carving sets can be though, I notice now that even when handling knives in doing my own kitchen prep that my hand-eye coordination is getting more crude. I just didn't want this to be another pastime that I'd be rashly taking up, only to drop later out of frustration. It would be my luck that I would be destined of somehow slashing open my hand or fingers by accident while on Warfarin as I chip away at some piece of wood and then bleeding out really badly. I later found a place in this town, one of the hobby shops, that is an outlet that sells the MakerBot series of 3D printers, and I got to finally witness a demonstration of one's capability for the first time. I just about bought one right there on the spot. It's a beautiful and marvelous thing: an entire workshop condensed into less than one cubic meter of space, easily fitting into the office space of my condo. I'm looking into really getting one, but the rest of my computer systems are so antiquated now, and I require a lot of upscaling in the basics of technology before I'd be able to get and use one practically.

The first few weeks of being out of the hospital have been worrisome for me, in regards to wondering if I'll really ever recover to 100% of my old self, and get enough of my strength, energy, and stamina back to endure the rigours of a typical 11 – 13 hour workday**. The recovery has been going well, but the path through it all is still riddled with potential landmines. It has been unsettling being left to wonder what options I'd have left to do vocationally if all I'd be doing is torturing myself and suffering more after going back. As miserable as office jobs make me, I do have to consider the real options for getting one for the long-term out of necessity in the near future. Creating options in a career in design/development and fostering them with an applicable interest or hobby is probably the way to go to avoid outrageous education expenses. Who knows really? Vocational counsellors seem to be getting further and further out of touch with the world for me to rely on anything on what they have to say. Finding/creating a job/career at this time that both pays well enough, and that I'd love to do (or can at least tolerate doing) while in this state is a huge challenge.

I'll hopefully know more about a route to take as I sort out things from next medical appointment coming next week.
 
*- Of that time, only three days are available for me to use for shopping, the pressure's on . . .
** - Commuting time included.

Approaching Equinox, English Speaker Peeves

Autumnal equinox is arriving today: when number of daylight hours will balance out with the number of night time hours. As always, it seems to be a natural time of the year for me to pensively re-evaluate what sorts of progressions throughout the course of it are working out, and which ones are not, with equal attention. My big personal, bringing-things-to-balance, project for this weekend is re-organizing my home office. The task is so daunting that I decided to procrastinate a little by writing a blog entry instead.

I reviewed the goal list I made for myself from back in July. I accomplished most of those things, with the exception of achieving a full marathon distance run. I'm reminded of this because the Rush concert is in town next Friday. It was the reward I promised myself if I achieved this goal. The injury messed up my training schedule so badly.

My running activity is becoming more and more infrequent and abbreviated, mostly due to the fact that the city has turned off all the fountains along the trails since the month began, so my range is limited to going as far as the amount of water I can carry with me will allow me to. I feel about 90% healed now; it still hurts to touch my toes. My training sessions ordinarily are done in the morning, but I'll be switching over to using my free afternoons, or early evenings instead. My count is 451 runs that are registered with Nike Plus since I began recording them. I made it a goal to complete 500 before the end of the year. I'm curious as to how far toward the end of the year it will be until I'd find it intolerable to wear running shorts outside. Biking season will be winding down within the next one to two months as well, unless we are lucky enough to have a freakishly late-coming winter like we did last year. I'm not a winter cyclist. It's risky enough that I bike home from work in pitch dark, never mind adding icy streets to skid on in the middle of traffic into the mix. This new bike is great: my best purchase of the year so far, and it pleases me even more knowing that it has been paid off already within five months of riding it with the savings from my gasoline bill.

I've been doing more crazy experiments in self-sufficiency, and had another successful and delicious exercise in frugality for this week: Watermelon Rind Pickles. I purchased one of the last well-ripened watermelons at my local store for $1.98, and made six pint jars of worth of sweet and savory pickles out of the rinds, which would have ordinarily been destined for the garbage. Adding another dollar and a half worth of vinegar, sugar, spices, and sealing lids, reusing the jars I already have, and I made them for about 58 cents a pint. I couldn't make cucumber pickles that cheaply, even if I grew them from seed: if I ever somehow found enough growing space for them on my deck.

Recently, I applied to a casual ESL teaching position at one of the community centres. I was reminiscing about my last English teaching experience, and factoring in who my students would be if I'm hired, and thinking about how I'd do things differently this time around. I'm reasonably forgiving and patient with people who are just learning the language, but I'm also easily sickened when it comes listening to some people who allegedly have spoken this language all their lives, and who still speak it very poorly. Here are some (unfortunately all too common) ways that "English speakers" abuse the language that make me want to cast some biting ridicule at them for being so linguistically stupid:

1. Using the first person object pronoun in the nominative case: I really hate it when people say "Me and <blank> {verb} {predicate}.". Our built-in moron detectors would quickly signal alert status red when we hear fellow anglophones around us say things like, "Us will go to the store.", "Her went to the bathroom.",or "Them have tickets to the movies." So, why is it so bloody hard for some people to understand that "Me and Joe Blow are eating cookies" is just as totally stupid and wrong? Use 'Joe Blow and I', or simply 'We', instead. Hearing some adults constantly speaking this way makes me suspect that they flunked grade six grammar, perhaps more than just once.
2. Failing to notice the difference of usage between 'there', 'their', and 'they're' in their written forms: when people dare argue with me in writing, stating that, "Their is nothing wrong with my message because the spell checker on my computer says that they're are no mistakes. So their!" I'm very certain that I won't be hiring this person for anything very detail oriented. Similar peeves bug me too which relate to the incorrect usage of 'your' and 'you're', 'it's' and 'its', and 'to', 'two', and 'too'.
3. Improper verbal conjugations: English verbs only have two variations of present tense conjugations (the exception is three for the verb "to be": am, are, is), a simple addition of a single form of modal verb to the infinitive to make conditional or future tenses, a single past tense form (two for the verb "to be": was, were), a single participle form, and a single gerund form. It's so much simpler to learn verbs in English than it is to learn the verbs from most other languages*, and yet people are still so stupid to say things like, "I gots really good grammar", or "My child write like Shakespeare". Such things strike me as straddling the line between being grossly comical, and horrifically ignorant and tragic.
4. The word "like", or excessive profanity, splattered liberally and repeatedly throughout the body of a single sentence, stated as mindlessly and casually as if one were chewing gum: e.g. "I was like, going to the mall to like buy these cute shoes, and they were like a hundred dollars, but I only had like forty, so like I phoned my mom and said like, "I really like these shoes mom". . . Jesus Christ kid, SHUT UP! Six likes and only one was valid. On the same token, the substitution of the word "like" with the more foul word "fucking", or any other profanity, used as a filler with the same degree of frequency and thoughtlessness, is even more bothersome to me. Psychologically, people who do this constantly just to throw in this extra shock value, do so because they are they are insecure and yet childishly attention seeking (as with teenagers), and they lack the maturity and/or confidence to dare themselves to think that they might have or develop some other amiable intellectual aspect or personality dimension for themselves that can be used to maintain rapport with another person. If you are 'like' this still as a full grown adult, do the rest of us a favour, and actively learn to broaden your vocabulary, read about some topical interests, and tame your attitude with some civil and mannerly speech, or else just shut up. I'd rather listen to a troop of jabbering monkeys than to people such as these.

I fully realize that my own writing is festered with errors, and in need of frequent proofreading and editing. I also acknowledge that speech wise I've found myself doing the aforementioned peeves and mistakes before, but mostly because people aren't tuning into what I'm trying to say in my normal manner of speaking, and as much as it makes me cringe to do it, sometimes I have to compromise and lower myself to using their parlance to snap some sense into them. I like the statement, "Language is the means through which our thoughts are served to others." Sadly, I believe more and more people are becoming estranged from this idea. If the spoken and written thoughts I serve were food, I'd like it to be a banquet of things that have a simple and whimsical; yet elegant presentation, that are easy to digest; yet stun the senses in a good way, with familiar flavours made exotic with unique signature twists, even when the morsel tested is slightly sour or bitter. I would hope it would draw the diner (listener) into a realm that they've never before experienced. I'd rather not be caught verbally exposing and delivering my thought process in the same manner as doling out the gustatory equivalent of the slop that they serve in a prison chow line.

* - Count yourself lucky if English is your mother tongue, and you're using verbs. Languages like French, Russian, and Spanish have as many as six, present tense conjugation forms. Due to it's gender subdivided singular and plural person forms, Arabic has even more than that. This is why I shake my head in shame at people, whose first language is 'English', who can't even figure out which one of two given forms to use correctly.

To Do Lists and Problem Solving

My To Do List. . .Simplified

It's hard to believe that anything in life feels like progress when one is constantly immersed in the level of problem-solving, and it's infuriating when the things you acquire to get things flowing more smoothly turn out to be just other things that bog you down with more problems. For example, I'm so backlogged with things to scan and convert to hardcopy because of the printer issue I had earlier in the year. I finally bought a new printer, but I couldn't configure the stupid thing to scan my documents by either USB or wireless connection. I used all the troubleshooting tricks I know, plus those that were suggested to me by the manufacturers of the printer, my wireless router system, and Microsoft, but nothing worked. I changed my wireless network settings over twice; everything else in the place that uses wireless works fine except the goddamned printer. I'm taking a blog and coffee break to decompress and vent some frustrations.

My actual to do list. I must add to it. . .
 "Go back to Staples and return piece of shit". 

Maybe it's because I'm getting older, and realizing that time is getting to be a more and more scarce commodity for myself, and I'm thinking that this is why I have lessening patience and tolerance for people, businesses, or institutions who seem to have nothing better to do but take my money and stick me in a spot where my time and energy is wasted. When I go back to the retailer to return this defective all-in-one; if I get an earfull of excuses or resistance, I will be asking them if they have the eight hours that were wasted in trying to unsuccessfully configure this thing in their till that they can return to me as well (I'm almost ashamed to admit that I was that persistent, and got no results). That usually works to get me more compliance and corrective measures for these types of problems.

I should blow this up and hang it on my wall. . .
BUT I WOULD NEED A F**KING
FUNCTIONAL PRINTER TO DO THAT!!!!

My to do list as it is doesn't show it, but generally this is the order of how I tend to prioritize to do's and problems, from the categories listed and ranked here from the easiest to most difficult:

• Home/Household duties - cleaning, sorting, organizing. When I tidy up my environment, it helps to clear my mind better for tackling bigger issues. It's my effort to economize, master my space/assets, protect my pet/companion, and assess what I really "need"
• Fitness - when I use physical energy, I shake off a lot of excess energy that could be misused for hostility or aggression in handling challenging bigger issues. It's my effort to feel centred, maintain discipline and gain self-control. 
• Learning/Education - for knowing and working within, or expanding the limits of what I can control when facing bigger issues. It's my effort to try to be less like my antagonists of the next point.
• Dealing with Other Peoples' Stupidity - Human stupidity is 99.99% of the source of my "bigger issues". Human stupidity usually involves people who want to make a problem more complicated than it really is with extra drama. It stems from people who are too damn lazy and won't commit to what they said they would do. It spreads and festers from ignorant and deluded people who don't hearken to the reality of a situation. Add in obnoxious/impudent assholes, or manipulative bullies who front up aggression and trickery: these are the sort of people who actively only want to worsen a problem and won't take ownership of their particular role in it. What is most shameful about them is that such people think that their shit doesn't stink, and the world owes then some big favour. That generally is the sum total of the "bigger issues" I face caused by such idiocy. I'm sure a lot of others would concur with the behaviours and attitudes I listed here as the source of their people-based problems. I'll admit that I've been stupid in throwing around some of the things that I just listed once in a while. If you personally have been affected by it, I'm sorry. Having enough guts to admit your guilt/wrongdoing and being honest with yourself is the first and biggest step in absolving yourself from the crux of stupidity. If you don't, then karma will dictate that you'll just be a continuous victim of your own idiocy.

Given what I just listed, it's no small wonder why I haven't exactly evolved into someone who could be called a "people person". Dealing with my own moments of lapsing into ignorance is exhausting enough for me, never mind confronting the schemozzle of crap others toss at me from time to time. I'm wary that I work at a position where some people, through no fault of their own most of the time, either through prolonged institutionalization, or an actual physical/mental deficit, aren't able to process or deal with several of the daily problems of theirs that they present to me. Dealing with such things is my job. However, I'm grateful at those times when such people do honestly try to be responsible in tackling or correcting things for themselves, and mindful of consequences before we as staff are called to help, or intercede*. Others, however, really do need to grow a brain on what constitutes an "emergency", or "essential care", or about how their drama, gossiping, and other activities of impulsive thoughtlessness negatively affect their standing with those of whom they intermingle. When I say "others", I speak in general terms: including both clientele and staff**.

*- The price for the right to "independent" living, whether you are disabled or not, entails being accountable for yourself and your own degree of well-being, taking responsibly for your own actions, and facing the consequences for your own mistakes. If this isn't happening, the scenario that unfolds is interdependent living, which is the more accurate term for all social spheres we live in.

**- Myself included.

Mnmlism: My Idea of Being Happy

The following is an entry that I wish I had the sense to write before. These are not my words, they are those of Leo Babauta, who is: a writer, blogger, runner, and what I would call a good "habit consultant". I thought that he has what I would call a very enviable lifestyle; I'm coming to realize that I'm close to having the same deal happening for me. His words in the brief passage I provided are a good enough philosophy to help me be mindful, and to get through those days that seem super-challenging and fraught with uncertainty. It describes my idea of happiness perfectly, and it seemed right to share this with those who are still yet mystified and wondering why I generally prefer living with the degree of simplicity in my personal environment that I currently do. His words are as follows:

mnmlist: as happy as possible

I believe I’m as happy as it is possible to be.
I’m not crying out in ecstatic pleasure, or streaming tears of joy, but I am very happy. It’s not a peak of happiness, but a plateau of happiness that can go on for as long as I live.
This is a happiness I wish on everyone alive. The question then is, what are the factors that contribute to my happiness?
Here’s what I don’t have:

1. A huge house
2. Massive wealth
3. Fancy clothes
4. A nice car
5. A powerful job
6. Cable TV

And I don’t believe having any of those would contribute to greater happiness than I already have. Here’s what I do have that contribute to my happiness:

1. Time
2. Loving relationships
3. Meaningful work
4. Health
5. Books
6. Enough

The first six are seen as the goals of society by many people. The second six make me very happy, and I believe I have them because I decided to forgo the first six. I recommend this path.

Discipline and Habit Building

“Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become your character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”

 - Buddha

My weekend was used to give my final respects to my grandmother. On Saturday, I was given the honour of placing her ashes in her grave, alongside the plot of my deceased grandfather. Not the way one wants to reunite with one’s family, but it was good to see everyone again. I toured around territory that I haven’t seen in ages, through some parts I’ve not been to since I was in my mid-twenties.

Sunday was very energy draining, but in good ways for the most part. I ran my best time for ten kilometres; breaking my old record from last September by a full minute. I wish I had a better gap of time between traveling back home and starting work in the afternoon.

I’m supposed to use this day to rest from marathon training, and it’s hard not to be seduced into running on a day like this: by the finest weather I’ve seen since this year began. It was so beautiful outside during the day, and so perfect to do so, but using discipline not to run and to rest and allow one’s legs and body to mend and build muscle tissue is just as important as using discipline to drive oneself ahead. I only risk injury while I have the remaining stiffness after yesterday’s feat. So this morning, I directed my energy instead to cleaning house, ledgering expenses, and doing so some mechanical tinkering with my bike and car before I went to work this afternoon. The bonus about this day was that at long last I got to move my “office” outside on my set-up deck space: working out there with my laptop. Sunshine and fresh oxygen seems to make caffeine work optimally, and so my brain felt like it ticked along harder. I stayed out there until sun’s glare reflecting off the screen got too intense.

My excursion this afternoon involved providing assistance for someone in making contact with a certain volunteer agency for a function in the near future. The formality was such that I had to fill out an application as well. It was the “skills and interests” field that really started my mind spinning. Perhaps it was some afterthoughts from Saturday’s service that made me wonder what I’m really doing with my life. It saddened me to think that there are so many things that I used to do, but now I feel so estranged from them all, and it’s like they’ve rusted away from disuse due to me being so engaged with my current job. Some of the tech stuff I knew has been obsolete for a long time. I’m dissatisfied with this feeling of being left in the dust, and found some kind of renewed eagerness to re-apply the practical knowledge I still have, and to learn more new and modern skill applications. I dived into websites, and my collection of e-books and PDF files for such stuff once I arrived back home. I arrived at nothing conclusive. All the course of living is just a complicated series of habits. Some progressive; others counterproductive. The trick for change is to simplify things and to maintain focus. Lack of focus, direction and motivation are the real culprits for me in not adopting something better as a good habit. The only thing that I got curious about and found to experiment with was a site called Habit Forge. I just have to create the list of habits that I want to build to be prompted into changing through reminders sent to me by e-mail. I wonder how useful this would be since one of my bad habits is not checking my e-mail on a regular basis. It better be damned interesting to make me want to bother sticking with the process. The real trick is to find things in my life that could be changed in 21 days.

I end my day indulging in whipped cream on chopped frozen bananas, chatting with a friend on Skype, and listening to some trance music. I was trying to build some new playlists for running, but all this was doing for me was making me imagine blissful thoughts of all the women I’d like to see dancing to this stuff. At least that’s something motivating to keep me in the habit of fitness.

Post Equinox

Right now, I sit here writing all this during another bad bout of insomnia. It’s around 4:00 am; I find it to be like a deserted temporal shore that my mind has somehow become washed up and stranded on, and left to just wander about to find some way to subsist. Sleep ain’t happening. There is no TV to watch, and even if there was, right now I can only tolerate silence, so music is out too. I can’t be troubled trying to process the words in a book or webpage written by someone else now. It’s like I have some sort of terrible mental itchiness, and writing was only way I could find to scratch at it.

I’ve been going back and forth from work in the past eight days on autopilot, not being really conscious of what I do here when I do stay at home, except to try to sleep, but it doesn’t seem to happen easily, even with the good fortune swapping a nightshift over to something more conducive to preserving my sanity. By the looks of things, I’ve been neglecting stuff around here. It’s like I’ve had to backtrack myself forensically to see what I’ve been doing for the past few days. My dishwasher contents show that only meal eaten here is breakfast, plus a couple of early lunches. There are lots of freezer containers from frozen leftovers. Those, plus the garbage contents, tell me that I’ve been depriving myself of anything fresh. There is an unnerving absence of things in the laundry hamper, which means I’ve been over-wearing some clothes, and since there are less sweaty gym clothes than there should normally be, I’ve been also neglecting gym time. I’m relying on more showers instead (judging by the state of bathroom, and amount of used towels) to feel awake and refreshed during my days. I also notice the strewn receipt slips and piles of neglected statements all over my desk, that’s enough to tell me that I’m in a bit of a depressive slump if I’m doing this much procrastinating in my home life. I don’t know what else to call it.

I think most of the issue is that I just feel spent. Along with coming through the doldrums of winter, I made a realization that between the two positions; with this present go around, that I’ll be working a sixteen day stretch before my next scheduled day off. I had coffee with a friend earlier in the day and realized, through our discussion, that I haven’t been on a real getaway vacation since 2006. I used to travel more frequently, but then I became perhaps too responsible for other things. Despite living alone, it seems like there’s very little ‘me’ time left to have. When I have time off, it seems like the last thing I want to wire into is yet more issues dealing with other people; so I tend to opt not to be social, no matter how cordial people are about things, so that attitude pretty much makes me veer away from making new friendships beyond work, or tuning into any other kind of special ‘love vibe’. It’s the only explanation I can give as to why I’m probably still single. I haven’t been feeling focused, and lately I just don’t feel recharged enough, from day after day, to do anything effective at work anymore. It seems like I genuinely need holiday time, or time away, I just don’t know how, or where.

We’re past that hump of the Vernal Equinox, so we officially enter the phase of the year when there is more daylight time than darkness. More daylight means more time and energy during the day to feel obligated to work on stuff, personal stuff. Because if I don’t in this next while, I really won’t feel like I’d have anything left in me if something else charges into my life that would be really critical that I’d have to tackle.

I’ll start out with an intensive trip to the gym, and see what momentum gathers from there onward. That is, if I ever get enough sleep.

Things I Need To Know How To Do Better

Twelve things to improve on for the New Year. Generally making it such that there is one focused challenge per month:

1. Attracting More Wealth and Managing It
2. Being More Social and Finding New Friends with My Interests
3. Making Time To Be a Disciplined Lifelong Learner
4. Discovering My Passions
5. Getting the Most Out of My Relaxation Time (Learning to Sit Still, and Accept Serenity)
6. Improving My Health with Fitness and Preventative Actions
7. Attracting My Ideal Significant Other
8. Confronting Conflicts and Handling Problems Mindfully, Confidently, Tactfully, Practically, and Effectively
9. Communicating with Kindness, Assertiveness, and with Good Intent
10. Getting Out More
11. Adding More Fun In My Life, Taking a Real Interest in the Lives of the People I Am Genuinely Fond of
12. Being More Spontaneous . . . TAKING MORE RISKS!

CBO Workers Unite!

We're about a week away from having our provincial election. The events during the three weeks prior to me writing this days have put me in a spot where I feel like I can no longer contain my frustration. I can't divulge the specifics because of confidentiality issues, but it has a lot to do with our current provincial government's failure to recognize and acknowledge the needs of employees working within unionized CBOs.

"What is a CBO?", you ask.*

A CBO is a Community Based Organization, a very general description indeed, but a far more better one than its former appellatives non-profit agency, or not-for-profit organization. Don't be misled, we are not strickly charitable organizations; and CBOs do generate a profit; they create a "social" profit. CBOs are auxiliaries linked to health care, and social/community justice services. We create social profit by creating more social freedoms (or at least by reducing people's suffering) through our service. If you think I'm being delusional in expressing that previous comment, think of these questions:

• How much of your life energy and personal resources would be used/spent if you had no place in your community for your dementia stricken parent/partner/loved-one to live? Would you honestly feel like a freer person if you were responsible for providing all their care alone? CBOs act to assist in sheltering and caring for the elderly with geriantric dementia and Alzeimers with non-medical aide. As the population of aged persons increases within the demographic of our province, it would be ridiculous to think that such services could be adequately implimented strictly by acts of charity alone, and would be super expensive if just left for more formal health services to do it all. The answer is having CBOs as intermediaries. 
• How much more crime (poverty/drug related) would you see on the streets if there were no places for the homeless** to receive the necessities of food and shelter (other than a jail cell). Would you feel more secure? Could those who are this disadvantaged ever find a way to bust out of this cycle and find social freedom if they were just further marginalized and stuck in jail, rather than having resource option of an occasional use of a food bank***, or a treatment centre? Building more and bigger (and expensive, and ineffective) prisons with tax money seems to be the conservative approach, clumping non-violent people who've erred by some minor theft/substance abuse issue in with a population of real rapist and killers. If they weren't hardened people when they went in, it's very likely that they will be when they get out. CBOs working with social and corrections services is the hopeful, more humaine, route. It would be shameful for us to descend into a social cancer of a segregated ghetto society like what is seen in so many American urban centres, but the reason why that scene has prevailed so long there is because of the comparative lack of CBO influence. The greater stigma of crime being linked to poverty halts a lot of people, especially conservative minded ones, from opening wallets and giving charitably to agencies involved in this type of community action, hence they can't operate on charity alone. Workers here need union representation more so than any other CBO for the fact that they work in such a high-risk environment.
• Let's suppose you were a victim of domestic abuse/violence. Aside from the disgustingly useless debate as to who or what is to blame for such situations, would you be any freer or secure without the option of an operational community crisis centre, or a crisis nursery to protect your children? CBOs are the agencies involved with volunteer recruitment, fund-raising, and administration of service for these community shelters and crisis services. 
• Are you operating under the delusion that you, or a loved one, couldn't possibily suffer a debilitating accident that would require not just medical; but long term non-medical care service? Your insurer may cut you a check; but how much remaining freedom and quality of life would you have if there was no one around to assist you in doing something as basic as getting out of bed? CBOs are the long term shelters and care services for these people, who would otherwise have to get that care from more formal institutions like a hospital if they didn'texist for them. Again, they would be impossible to function by charity alone.

There are countless other examples of how CBOs serve and bring quality of life to the residents of this province. I used these few as an example because these are the CBO enivronments I've worked in and contributed to.
I'm tired of blame orientated debates instead of solution orientated forums amongst our elected officials. I'm sickened about just how invisible our and other CBO agencies are to our communities.
It's irritating to see the lag in progress happening because of the in the eyes of certain ministries, we fall behind unseen, yet rigid jurisdictional technicalities that one side or another doesn't want to approach or be responsible for. All this creates some sort of imposed inefficiency for the management of some agencies because they become thus responsible for having to use a sizable chunk of time to campaign for their our fund-raising instead of using the time to deliver the services that they are supposed to provide. The Wall government of Saskatchewan is rightly named, as it seems to have done nothing but built up walls between itself and the unions and others who are democratically trying to serve those in need here.

To Saskatchewan residents, along with the other decisions you are considering before you cast your ballot on November 7th, I'm asking you not to forget about those who work for, support, or are served by CBOs. I'm asking you not to take us for granted. I'm asking you to be apart from the collective ignorance and indifference, as has been shown by the current provincial administration, whose policies have not only been keeping the funds of our province's "prosperity" away from these organizations, but have been active in stifling the voice of union respresentation****, and therefore the workers, trying to make a difference for the lives of people here. Vote with a conscience! Vote for justice! Vote for Health Care! Vote Against Social Decay! Vote for Sharing Our Wealth with Services!

* - Don't feel too bad for not knowing, because I work and for people who don't even know themselves that they are using, or are employed by a CBO.
**- Think carefully before you answer with the stereotype of what you think a "homeless" person is. There is an increasing number of working poor and working homeless in this province because of the shortage of affordable housing that's occurring here. Ironically, some of these short-changed people are CBO workers themselves. What a hell of a reward that is for providing home care services for others.
***- Another disturbing note about the increasing divide between the rich and poor since Saskatchewan has been labelled a "have" province: soup kitchens are appearing now in communities in this province which never had one before, even during The Great Depression.
****- I specifically refer to the passing of Bills 5 and 6 in the Saskatchewan Legislature.