Crafting Smörgåstårta

I started off this weekend quite bitter and disappointed. Given the course of how Friday closed for me at work, I was in real need of something more relaxing to do for leisure . . .  but that shit wasn’t happening. Instead of getting to check out the massive indoor flea market, or maybe the pet expo at Prairieland that I wanted to see, or skiing with my friend, or getting the chance to reunite with my brothers and sisters-in-law to finally go on a whiskey tour at Lucky Bastard distillery, I’m left being obliged to review, study, and attend workshops all bloody weekend at Saskatchewan Polytechnic* for not just one, but both weekend days. My Sunday isn’t even sacred for my quality weekend time, and I’ll be missing out on the Roughriders vs. Argonauts CFL semi-final, while I’m being fraught and tortured with test anxiety. That’s like bloody sacrilege to have such a workshop on this very day! I left SaskPoly on Saturday afternoon, too deflated and de-energized to do much of anything. I also had the aggravation of needing to do some grocery shopping for some protein afterward, by the way, a terrible idea on late Saturday afternoon if you hate crowds like I do.

I had a bear-like craving for either smoked or cured salmon, along with some other elegant form of seafood for some crazy reason (but not sushi, oddly enough . . . something more novel and different from that). If not for Saturday, then for my Sunday. I found a deal on smoked salmon and some shrimp on sale, and . . . Merry-flipping-early-Christmas to me . . . I also discovered a real rarity for these parts . . . whole crayfish! I always wanted to experiment with these little devils. I think I’m going to put them into some Spanish paella. I remembered that there was an odd inventory of eggs, veggies and other things to use up first as well in the fridge. I also reminded myself of my brewing project schedule, and reminded myself that should find something that accords with the non-wastage of the by-products of that after the first racking. Getting the crayfish reminded me of something about Sweden** (they have an annual festival there devoted to the eating of these little buggers). The thoughts of Swedish cuisine made me recollect flashes of some other inspirational things I glimpsed once on Pinterest as to what to do with my salmon and shrimp, and in this convoluted way I got an idea rolling and all these things coalesced in a lightning flash. My next culinary experiment was going to be making a Smörgåstårta: Swedish, for “sandwich cake”. I collected a couple more elementals for the project, and got the hell out of that store in a hurry.

The process went as such for innovating my version of a Smörgåstårta:

Step 1 – Crafting the “cake”: Knowing that I had to transfer (rack) my beer wort from a primary to secondary fermentation stage, I took and exploited the residual trub (mucky looking sediment residue) which is loaded full of live yeast, to serve as the leavening agent, along with some buttermilk for my “cake”. As it was loaded with more hoppy flavour, I added sweetened and aromatic caramelized onions and poppy seeds to the all-purpose flour dough to tame down some of its bitterness. I fashioned a dough and cooked it in a round, straight-sided baking dish. After baking it until done, I trimmed away the excess and the crusty surface (to be used as croutons). I don’t remember how long this took between the kneading, rising, and baking, but it was long enough for me to consume a couple of casually sipped gin and tonics. For an easier way to do this, you’d probably just buy a round bread loaf of whatever your preference is (like sourdough or pumpernickel) and trim it such that you get a wide cylindrical loaf.

Step 2 – Section the Loaf:   I made three horizontal cuts across the loaf, dividing them into four even sections.

Step 3 – Select and spread your fillings: You can use any damn filling you want, provided that it doesn’t make the bread layers too soggy. My choices for this particular experiment were: Herbed Liver pâté and chopped peppers spread evenly, add a bread section, then smearing on egg salad (flavoured with a small pinch of curry) over that, then layering with another section, then avocado and shrimp spread evenly, topped with the last layer section.

Step 4 – Making the “icing”: That was made with a 3:2:1 ratio of cream cheese, crème fraîche, and mayonnaise respectively. For this project, ¼ cup proportions were used for those ratio numbers. Sour cream might work if you don’t have access to crème fraiche, bit if you want to know how to make it, read further below. I reckon for an even more authentic icing ingredient, skyr could be used. I mentioned it briefly in another post. I may try that some day. Anyway, mix those three ingredients together to an even consistency, and chill for an hour before Icing your cake. Chill the iced cake for another hour before the next step.

Step 5 – You garnish that bastard like crazy! – Or at least this is the way that the Swedes seem to like to do it. Use whatever is edible, not just like what I have in the picture; use whatever it is that turns your crank. I used my smoked salmon, olives, cucumbers, tomatoes, capers and some dill for this one, crowned with one of my new little friends. Once that is finished, put it back in the fridge and keep it chilled before serving.

Oh yeah, for making your own crème fraîche, follow these steps:

1.       Scald a litre capacity mason jar with boiling water, filling it to the brim and emptying it. Also

immerse a sealer ring (and airlock if you have one) under boiling temperature water as well.

2.       Once the jar is emptied, pour in a litre of whipping cream, add to it 2 tablespoons of buttermilk and stir it in.

3.       Place airlock and sealer ring on the jar, and leave it at room temperature for at least 12 hours, if you don’t have an airlock like the one pictured, place a clean double folded cheese cloth across the lip of the jar and the sealer ring on it, not allowing the cheese cloth to contact the mixture. Be aware that the fermentation process will be about 4 hours faster this way. The airlock method will be slower, but purer (less contaminated) with native culture.

4.       Once the cream has a stiffened viscosity, put a clean, sterilized jar lid over it, seal it with the sealer ring, and store it in the refrigerator until ready to use it. Try to use it within a week stored this way.

The nice thing about this dish is that, like sushi, simple things can be used and made to look absolutely decadent. Like pizza, or soup, it allows for ingredient variability. I know it’s one that I’ll probably attempt again. The thing I'd do next time around would be to use my own homemade gravid lax instead of smoked salmon. The fact alone that one can take brewing slop and convert it into a classy party dish is cool trick in and of itself. As recipe concepts go, I’ll be definitely filing this one under “panty melters”. It was super delicious, and it would be nice to see an idea like this catch on. I'm glad I tried this out, as it would probably be the only way I'd get to sample some of this aside from actually going to Sweden.

*- I'm not really bitter or hateful about the workshops per se: they were useful with new tricks and techniques to learn, the instructor was good; it's just that the timing of them was bad.
**- I don’t keep it a secret, or apologize for being a bit of a Swedophile. I’ve made an effort to learn some of the basics of the language, and tune into some of the cultural aspects of that country. I don’t know why that is. Perhaps I listened to a little too much ABBA as a child to get this indoctrination happening. It turns out that I have much in common with the typical Swedish mindset, I think their women are gorgeous, and as I don’t really like tropical weather, I could easily adapt to their winters, which are a lot less severe than the ones here in Saskatchewan.

Restless Browsing

This is not good. It's only 11 days into winter and I'm already climbing the walls. The good news is that I managed to cram and jam my skis in this new car despite it's smaller interior space. The bad news was that after doing that, and cruising to the ski trails, I found out that they were still lacking enough snow depth to be groomed properly. I went home disappointed, forcing myself to do responsible adult stuff when I returned there.

As much as I abhor giving patronage to any shop on Remembrance Day, I cracked - after being penned up inside, constraining myself to focusing on household tasks for the entire day, seeing that I couldn't go skiing. By the time evening came, I needed to flee from here.

The problem is that there's nowhere to really retreat to at night when lots of businesses and restaurants are closed, even when a statutory holiday falls on a Saturday. My appetite was sated and I was full and had no need to eat anywhere, but I found out that Indigo was open, and my restless mind was hungry; so I stepped into there. I just purged my place of a huge whack load of books, but I couldn't resist seeing what I would alternatively collect for my shelves. Touring the bookstores and libraries isn't just a quest for good material to read; it's an effort to discover the kind of book I'd like to write. This entry is a visual collection and reflection of what my literary tastes and other entertainment modality was shifting to as I browsed the store.

The book best suited for me

on this kind of evening.

A cookbook that I should be

learning from

The kind of cookbook I should

be writing - Sample 1

Another sample of the kind of 

cookbook I should be writing.
There is more profanity in this
one book than what I think I
used in my entire lifetime.
It gets the point across though.

Three books I'd want for a prolonged

trip to my desired European destinations.

The Joy of Less appeals to my philosophy of minimalism.

Another alternate form of porn
of stuff I'd lust for, besides for
whatever's in the Best Buy flyers.

The poetry I might be able

to appreciate.

A comical journaling

exercise book  in a format

that I wish I dreamt up of first.

The magazine I should be reading

A preformatted checklist that I

should have. However, the items on it

aren't 'weird' enough for my place.

There were also games I noticed that I'd be interested in collecting too . . . from old school to ancient school.

Ultimately though,  I ended up shaking off the urge to do any mindless consumption, realizing that what I probably most needed to do was retreat into re-reading and reviewing my own journal notes: ones loaded full of half-cocked plans, semi-mapped ideas, hair-brained schemes, and other lists that I wouldn't share here and the beginning of solutions to other challenges I may have ahead.

5Q5A: Winterlude

Again, this is mostly for the benefit of my non-Canadian audience. 

I’m not trying to react too negatively about it, but It’s back, and being that I should be better prepared for its coming is neither here nor there. Of course, I’m talking about winter: and no matter how well prepared I am for the physical and logistical rigours of the season, like any savvy Canadian should be, ultimately, I am never prepared for it psychologically, despite having lived here all my life. Things like the extra darkness, the featureless snowscape, the extra work shoveling and blowing away accumulations, the treacherous driving from idiots who aren’t adapting to slick road conditions, and the augmented stretches of isolation and being penned indoors are already getting to me, and we are only four days into the season since the snow came. Knowing that there is 32 times that of a duration yet to endure until spring isn’t making me any more cheerful. I don’t feel anymore thankful or blessed in knowing that Halloween was snow free, and it could have come much sooner by one or two weeks, which is not uncommon in these parts to expect. It’s just here, and I have no will to deal with it. It’s going to be hard to find pleasure in this one. The title above is more of a note of sarcasm than anything.   

Q1. How is this going to be an even more challenging winter?

A1. What’s even more foreboding about it is that now that I’m a member of the Condo board, I’ve been bestowed some responsibility of assuring snow removal around the building on days like these; dealing with the gray areas of how responsibly the owners and the people contracted to remove it for us are going to interact. To do one home is enough, to be responsible an entire building complex is another thing. Plus, along with dealing with some residents and board members, some of whom are bickering with each other, and being caught between their petty conflicts, doesn’t make me enthused to pursue this endeavor. It makes me a little regretful that I’ve yupped myself into this.
As usual, the missing of like-minded intimate female companionship is at its worst when enduring this phase of the year*.

Q2. What do you tolerate best about winter?

A2. Strangely enough, the cold really doesn’t bother me much physically. Genetically, I suppose I just turned out to be a very warm-blooded person. It’s just an element that one dresses right for. I don’t give it a second thought or complaint about those instances, like this morning, where I’ll march out in -30 C wind chill to help relieve the dog. The whining and complaining everyone else does about it, and its resulting negativity, is more what gets to me when it’s overplayed. I get grumbly when I have to remove snow, or be forced to travel by foot or vehicle over ice, but cold temperature itself isn’t the bothersome factor to me directly, just what results in its influence in other things beyond me. I get pissed off at the failures and foibles of some mechanical and technical things like cars, cell phones, and other devices that aren’t as resilient as I am when the temperature plummets, but not with the cold itself. Personally, I find brisk, cold air cleansing and purifying. I’m one of those weirdos who favours an extremely cold day over an extremely hot one. I can dress better for a really cold day; I can’t undress further for an extremely hot one. If I ever find it too cold for my personal liking, it’s just a good excuse to have a hot bath, or use the sauna, or enjoy some tea or soup.

Q3. What are your personal betterment projects going to be for the season?

A3. I’ve sorted things out to the following.

1.       Language project – Learning (some) Russian. What more appropriate language is there to learn in the harshest and most bitter of seasons such as this? I’ll expound more on the reasons why and my progress in future entry.

2.       Cooking – Becoming a better saucier. To take ordinary cuts of meat and vegetables and elevate them to another level of amazing with a simple formulation of a sauce seems to be worthwhile doing. I’m reckoning on learning about 20 – 30 different sauces, dips, and glazes during the season.

3.       Studying – I have a big, stupid hoop to jump through with some required courses. It’s actually a form of hell and punishment to me, and a reminder of collective ineptitudes which, unfairly, other parties aren’t being held accountable for. But, I’m challenging myself in creating some weird and wild mnemonic systems to help me remember this stuff, which I can hopefully transfer and apply to other things more meaningful and valuable to me.

4.       Writing better  – I’m considering workshops for it.

5.       Continued involvement with my Union

Q4. What fitness and leisure are you going to try to pursue more of?

A4. Things like:

1.      X Country Skiing – If there is an ideal weekend for it. I might travel up to Elk Point to experience the trails there. Otherwise, I’ll try to keep regenerating my lung tissues with the circuits here locally. Running on icy streets and sidewalks is too much of a risk given that I need non-sprained ankles and unbroken legs for work.

2.      More sauna time – and with that, to pass the time better while sweating out toxicity in there without boredom, it seems fitting to read . . .

3.      More Scandinavian crime fiction – I built up a rather large extensive syllabus of books by Nordic writers. After reading a few, I totally get why people have commented that I think more like a Northern European than a Canadian.

4.      Shooting Nazis – Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus, a video game, has been released. I really don’t want to offend my German friends after saying this. Please remember that I’m shooting at Nazis, not the good Germans. The first-person shooter gameplay for this series is awesome, and I’m sure I’ll need some form of quasi-destructive cathartic release of anger towards something representing oppressive evil sometime throughout this season. I wish I knew more people who like to play board games and cards; I would welcome that too. As for now, the dog is lousy at dealing cards, and doesn’t really have a grasp on how to play chess or backgammon.

5.      Designing and building furniture – mostly shelving and table options (solutions).

6.      Cocktail Bar Development – gradually accumulating the essential ingredients for a fuller and varied personal mixology lab experience. If I can’t have quantity, I at least want quality on the minimal level.

Q5. Let’s end with being positive, what are the better or favourite sensations of winter that you enjoy?

A5. Sensations, as in what appeals to the five senses, could be summarized thusly:

1.      Sounds – or rather the absence of it when the first snow comes. Walking outside in the darkness on the morning of the first snowfall of winter, where the light snow absorbs all acoustical aberrations. On the opposite side is listening to blizzard blowing outside whilst being with a warm beside warm, crackling from the fireplace. It’s the winter equivalent of listening to thunderstorm for me, which I also find pacifying. The only time I really appreciate classical music is during winter. Ella snoring by my feet after a long cold walk, either her effort to warm up, or to warm me up.

2.      Textures – the mass of a super heavy quilt draped over me. This is only appreciated on the super cold days of course.

3.      Smells – Birch firewood burning, conifer trees (the only non-dormant plants during the season; a good whiff of pine sap is intoxicating), fresh bread baking and soup cooking, any incense that masks months’ worth of smells of kitchen grease, other malodorous stenches and other volatile organic compounds (from not just my suite, but others’) that get trapped inside because you can’t really open the goddamned windows for fresh air for the risk of freezing the pipes.

4.      Sights – Hoarfrost, like everything outside gets encrusted with diamonds after a good freezing fog. Christmas lights, or any extra light that brightens the evenings before and after solstice.

5.      Tastes – For some weird reason, I tolerate red wine better during winter than at all other times of the year. As forms of alcohol go, ordinarily red wine seems like it is to me like what Kryptonite is to Superman. Anything fat and sugary is more pleasurable on an exponential degree during winter. If the only feast I had for Christmas was Butter Tarts, I’d be happy with that. I drink more coffee and tea during winter as well, perhaps to trick my brain into making the cycle of daylight longer than it really is.

*- I’m not going to be prideful, or be feeling ashamed, or hiding anymore about the fact that at times I get terrible spells of feeling weaker and vulnerable about being very lonely. Winter here is the worst for experiencing that, but some how I endure.