Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Some Magazines I Like

It was more than a little disheartening for me to wake up today and see twenty centimeters of new snow covering everything outside, and then hearing a report that another ten centimeters will be blowing in and accumulating throughout the day. There is more snow coming today than what I think we’ve had accumulated so far for all this winter. I saw my igloo encased car earlier and thought of how it totally sucks that I still have to trouble myself to go to work on a day like this. I thought about what I would rather be doing on a day like this with being holed up inside, apart from trying to regain some sleep. For whatever reason, all I could instantly think of was that it would be the perfect kind of day to just enjoy the simplicity of having some tea and reading all the latest issues of the magazines that I prefer if I had them here. I don’t though; so the next best thing I thought I’d do is hone my wit and writing skills by listing them all, or at least the ones I would read on a snowy day like today. 
 
National Geographic – I love nature photography, and studying the great diversities of biology and geography, and how human and animal life adapts and evolves to each one on a developmental and social level. This magazine has been around since 1888. Pick a subject from the size of an atom to the furthest extend of the cosmos, from viruses to blue whales and it’s a sure bet that National Geographic has done a terrific exposé on it. They do great focused editorials on nations and cultures without too much political or religious bias either way. After spending a little time studying the masterfully shot photos in National Geographic after a tough day, I regain some sense of not really being so hard done by; noting how beautiful this world can be if we only allow ourselves a chance to see it. On a day like today, I’d most enjoy the photos of tropical locales.

Colors – Kind of like NatGeo in that it’s heavily based on geography, but it’s more geared to social demographic research in an artsy, creative kind of way. It’s a publication from Europe by Colors by Benetton, which is renowned for their use of simple, yet alternative and sometimes controversial advertising photos. Each issue is dedicated to focusing on one central theme, and puts it in a global perspective; things like water, prison, death, money, fat, etc. The last issue of it I looked through was simply themed Shit, and yet somehow it wasn’t as disgusting as one would think. It was maturely informative, using just enough impact and shock value to draw one into and hold interest about a subject that one wouldn’t normally opt to read about. The pictures are striking, but many have a grittier edge to then that provide some very sobering glimpses on reality. Other languages are interesting to me; I like the fact that each issue is multilingual. It gives me a chance to learn more vocabulary and grammatical nuances from each one printed along with the English articles and captions for comparison.
Adbusters – A global magazine published here in Canada. It’s an (anti)advertizing magazine about the deplorable and irresponsible ways that advertising is being used, and strips the sugar coating away from the biased media and their messages. Marshall McLuhen would be so proud.*
Popular Science – As a younger teen, while every other guy my age back then was reading hot rod magazines or trying to scam a Playboy from somewhere, I was enjoying reading this magazine instead. I freely admit that I was a weird kid in that respect. The most fun thing for me while reading this magazine was comparing the technology we were actually currently using to the earlier bizarre Jules Verne-esque visions of science and technology that this same magazine was predicting we would be using in our present from their issues from a few decades earlier. With this magazine, I was always wondering why there weren’t any hovercrafts in people’s driveways yet; or why we weren’t living in geodesic domes, or why we weren’t having robots to do our ass wiping for us (or at least to clear away all this goddamned snow), or however the vision of things to come was so predicted. Popular Mechanics is of the same ilk as well. 

Men’s Health – For basically learning and reminding me how not to do stupid stuff that will put me in hole in the ground sooner than I’m due for. It’s important to consider, since I’ve reached that critical age now where my current state of health determines how rapidly it declines once (if) I reach my senior years. I object to the condescending tone of some articles in the magazine for speaking to men like they were complete idiots about some manners regarding general common sense stuff about health and wellness (especially cooking), but the sad fact is that most men are that way. There are a few good reasons why men generally die sooner than women. It would be generally due to our own stupidity and ignorance about what it takes to stay fit and survive: proneness to doing stupid and harmful risk-taking behaviour due to competitive one-up-man-ship, and the general avoidant behaviour when it comes to men learning anything medical about themselves. This magazine serves as a passable substitute for the time that I spend living apart from estrogen-based life forms, which generally are the ones with more vested interest and advice for men to live healthier**, or at least helping one to look a little less slovenly. It’s not a magazine for your average macho dumbass . . . that would be more like the next one on this list.
Maxim – I like booze and bar room humour, but I don’t like hanging around with other immature idiots in bars, and overpaying for drinks. Maxim is, at times, my substitute for that. I like boobies***; I confess I like the smoking hot swimsuit/lingerie models that some of the better ones are attached to. I like guy toys and gadgets also. Conveniently, Maxim covers all that too. I don’t read it that much anymore, but there are times I suppose when I don’t really want to over-intellectualize things, or times when I need to prove to myself that I have a few molecules of foul testosterone left in me, and I need such moments for getting in touch with my inner pig. So, I sometimes indulge in perusing through some articles of the odd issue of Maxim now and then, mostly for a good laugh. After comparing Maxim’s articles with those of an ex-girlfriend’s issue of Cosmo, I found Cosmo had equally, if not more, raunchy sex tips (just worded differently). So ladies, please spare me the backlash and hypocrisy. Maxim also provides the remaining unique and more curiously weirder bits of health and wellness advice and answers that won’t be found in Men’s Health. Like, for example, how to lessen your chances of being tortured and gang-raped in a Lebanese prison. As adult male entertainment, it’s definitely not a magazine for intellectuals or sophisticates, but it has just enough tastefulness to keep it from sinking into being something totally pornographic.
Flavours – A quarterly periodical released around the Solstice/Equinox seasons of the year through the Saskatchewan Liquor Board Store, about available stocks of wine, beer and liquors in the SLBS, sources for gourmet ingredients, and recipes of how to blend them together as pairings. It’s local, and totally free.
Puzzle magazines – Mostly logic or math puzzles, like sudoku, kakuro, or logic grids, or else the odd crossword. Just to keep those two scoops of grey matter active.
Woodworking Magazines – Small carpentry projects are probably another hobby I’d be doing more intensely during my retirement years.

Magazines You’d Think I’d Read More of (but actually don’t)

Running Magazines – This is the Zen of running: quickly putting one foot in front of the other, in a careful manner, and repeating that until you reach your goal distance or destination to the best of your ability. You may, or may not, do better than the last time you did it. When it begins to hurt too much, then stop it dummy! And that’s it. Yes, I run for my fitness, and to some extent the challenge, but I fail to see (or maybe just not yet where I’m at another new competitive level to see) what else could be so new or intricately complicated about doing it (for me) where 12 issues per year can be written/read about the subject. To me, that's about as sensible as making a magazine entirely devoted to pushups. 

Computer magazines – Reading a monthly periodical on printed paper about enhancing a machine that can automatically download updates for itself every day if need be seems like a waste of time/money for me. They are written in baffling tech language which bogs me down most times. They are only useful of IT tech is your actual trade.

Brewing magazines – I have a lot of respect for the kind of intellect needed to craft a decent pint of beer. To be a respectably better than average home brewer, you need to understand the fundamentals of biochemistry, organic chemistry, microbiology (specifically zymurgy), thermodynamics of heat exchange, fluid densities/dynamics, sanitization/risks of cross-contamination, food science, stoichiometry, and the general math formulae to take into account all of these variables, and the engineering know-how to create a good brewing system. The brewing magazines out there are for the hardcore brewing über-geeks who invest a lot of money, space, and time to make and drink it, which I just don’t have. It’s just practical to follow the simple kit instructions that I use now.

Tricycle – A magazine about Buddhist living. I appreciate the teachings of Zen Buddhism; I have enough books on the subject already. Honestly, after reviewing them all, I see the fundamentals of Buddhism as stuff that can all be completely written out on a fortune cookie slip, and Zen is just a matter of conducting yourself mindfully in the here and now. I confess and accept that there are some days when I’m better at doing this than others. I don’t need to look for things to be deeper than that; there’s nothing else I have to buy into. I don’t place too much gravity on matters of meditation; or whether or not there are cycles of reincarnation; or whether it’s ethical or not to drink alcohol or eat meat; or what kinds of karmic rewards and punishments there are, or other matters that most people mistakenly believe Zen Buddhism is about. Thus, like with case of the running magazines, I need nothing to be made more complicated by monthly issues on subjects that are cyclical anyway. No disrespect to the people who do find solace in this publication, or to the people who put effort into creating it. Each has their own path to find. I wouldn't dare say that this magazine is a wrong way to go about it, I just don't follow it as fervently as others think I might.
*- Warning: this magazine will make you madder than hell at the corporate machine, and the things they do to mess with your mental environment.
**- Men generally don’t care much about seeing and keeping other males in good health unless: it directly relates to their paying job, it involves a member of their own family, or if they are in some gay relationship. If it were otherwise, we wouldn’t spend so much time laughing when a buddy of ours has some clumsy, but non-serious, accident; or being engaged in, or spectators of bodychecking/tackling/fighting in contact sports, or be so willing and eager to witness and fight in wars.

***- To prove just how much I like boobies, I’m seriously thinking of having one of my running goals as joining in on the Run for the Cure event in October in my community: out of support and respect for my female relatives and friends who have been threatened with breast cancer.

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