While accounting for my time ahead, I'm discovering that it's one of those rare times when I have an approach-approach dilemma. As it approaches the end of the fiscal year, like every other year since I've worked where I am, I again have a sizeable chunk of unused vacation time remaining. I'm sitting here wondering if I'm just going to take it as a pay out, as with all the other years, or take the actual time off. Considering all the extra stress I'm going to be facing ahead with negotiations reopening, it might be a more prudent measure to take the time off. If I do book it all off in the right cycle, I'll have about 10 days off. There is nothing to make any stretch of time between mid-February/March look appealing around this territory; as we're only through 65-75 % of the way through winter. Travel was suggested by a friend at work; I wish I had her enthusiasm about the idea, but what I really have been missing most is a substantial sense of accomplishment from starting and completing a personal project that flows along a middle range timeline. Traveling somewhere won't give me that satisfaction*. With the time constraints that I have, I've only been stuck doing either very short term (within a day) projects, or tiny and slow progressive stages of very long ones. I've been trying to think about things that I could do that are radically life changing that could be done within the span of 7 - 10 days. The stuff that comes to mind of things that I've done in the past that fit such criteria are:
- Cramming the essential elements of another language (as in the case of me learning enough Spanish on an intermediate level that allowed me to travel abroad for six months). I know one person who I should try and find moments to Skype with to work on my German. I should also find someone to talk for improving my French, which I learned years ago but never found use for.
- Re/learning HTML and other programming tricks.
- Practicing some guitar, learning some new songs
- Assembling something to make some sort of functional gizmo.
- Building some furniture**
- Redecorating/painting my condo (too expensive to do now).
- Writing essays which I can get academic credits/certification for (which means I'd need a meaningful course to apply to, which is probably too late to register for now).
- Dating. Well . . . I lie, this is not truly a thing where I have found either success or satisfaction in doing, and it's doubtful that it will be a course I take ahead. The only radical thing in life that it has done for me was show me how few single women there are out there around my age who would take a liking to someone like me, and to show me just how petty, self-centred, immature, and/or just plain friggin' crazy people can be. It has come to where I am disillusioned to some point beyond just simply feeling flawed, jaded, and hopeless. I really just hate the indignity of it all. It's worse than trying to muddle through any job market. I'm coming to really wish that I lived in a place like Sweden, where one of my correspondents who lives there tells me that, in comparison to here, there really isn't any sort of ritualized form of dating, or at least there is less burdening of themselves and each other with gender roles, or pressure/expectations***, and men and women generally demonstrate more sexual equality, openness, and respect for each other.
*- Having the same stuck mind and taking it on a tour around a different place isn't really positive change.
**- I would need to borrow my father's workshop if I choose to do something like this, but it would take me two to three days alone just to de-clutter it and organize that place enough just to make it operational for my standards.
***- When I meet people around here, why is there some expectation for me be either some sort of business tycoon, or a professor, a dumbass redneck cowboy, or some sort of worthless macho/gangsta badass shithead with an inked-up hide?
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