1. Q: This has been the fifth night in a row of poor sleep for you. Why?
A: I’ve had some really taxing days of facing a new form of psychological challenge that I really don’t feel at all well-equipped to deal with. Despite the fact that I’ve been congratulated on the “good work” I’ve done, it has been prompting me even harder to think about where to go to next in terms of career building and education. What has followed is that I’ve become stressed and stricken with insomnia as I’m building castles in the air, and finding dragons in every room. Generally, the dragons to slay are the issues of where to find the time to study, and funding. It falls within the course correction motive I mentioned in an entry some while ago. It’s time to stop giving lip service to the idea, and start acting on it.
2. Q: What kind of armour and weapons do you feel you need to slay these dragons?
A: Coalescence, a means with which to pool all my ‘special powers’ into one driving force to spearhead myself into a new spot. Forging, aiming, and propelling the spear is the big challenge. Another part of my weakness that’s been getting me so down and slowing me up is that any talents that I do have are so diffuse and varied that they leave no lasting impact on anything. Burnout, having no extra money, or time in the day, and depriving myself of opportunities to improve on any of them is making me worse. It’s like I’m now forced to use a Swiss Army knife to build a super-computer from scratch. One other major flaw I recognize in myself is that I seem to have no filter for processing massive onslaughts of information; it all just remains in my head as useless trivia. I have to find some systemized form of ‘armour’ for dealing with that.
3. Q: How is the great purge project going?
A: It is about 67% complete. I think I made about ten bushels worth of rats’ nest filler, and pretty much burned out my paper shredder. The last third of this project will involve finishing rummaging and sorting through the remaining stuff in my filing cabinet drawers, scanning essentials, hardcopy destruction, copying digital backups, and systemizing things for future upkeep. The next big deal after that will be sorting and archiving my photos, which could last until the end of this coming spring . . . if I remain so ambitious.
4. Q: You have a three day weekend, what is going to happen?
A: The routine things would be: jogging, strength training, coffee with my friend, tidying up the place, reading some novels, writing, and cooking/stocking the fridge. The non-routine things will be finding the ways and means of attacking the problems I just mentioned above. Spending Friday afternoon in the SPL (Saskatoon Public Library) will happen for certain; avoiding dragging home any trivial and irrelevant materials of transitional interest from there that will just clutter up my brain will be a challenge as always.
5. Q: Will you need more time off?
A: I’m sure I will, but when I’ll need it is still as of yet an uncertainty. It depends on some news I hear after two weeks from now. I could explain more, but I don’t want to jinx things.
No comments:
Post a Comment