A Lousy Friday the 13th

I have to confess that yesterday, Friday the 13^th, was a portent for some really bad luck. I took Ella to the vet to get her checked out. There’s a newly forming bump on her nose that I initially just passed off as a silly wart or something. However, the way and rate it has been forming made it too hard for me to believe that any longer, plus it has begun to make her noticeably uncomfortable. After a rudimentary biopsy, the vet told me that she has cancer. This unsightly, rapidly growing tumour on her muzzle started appearing around Christmas. It needs to be removed immediately, or else if it continues to grow at its current rate for much longer, she won’t have enough remaining skin tissue left on her muzzle after the excision to permit her to properly heal without some facial deformity. Such a thing might in turn cause some future impairment of her eating, drinking, or even breathing. This was news that I wasn’t prepared for at all. I booked the date for the surgery for this coming Monday. It was the soonest time that was available for her.  She will need a general anaesthetic, always a risky thing for smaller dogs. It will be costly. Also, her having this proceedure doesn’t necessarily guarantee that it will completely cure her of this either if it has already started to get malignant and metastasize. I’m hoping the blood tests she had will prove something contrary to that. It’s a subject that has really been depressing me.

I may have to sacrifice my vacation funds, my remaining savings, or maybe eat beans and rice for a year, if that’s what it will take to help her. I don’t really care about that right now. What I know I can’t do is to watch her suffer. If she survives this surgery and it works out well, I’ll be grateful for at least that. If it turns out to be an exercise in futility, either by some complication in surgery, or the cancer re-occurring or spreading, I may have to brace myself for the unavoidable heartache of doing what’s ultimately best to not make her suffer anymore. I’m hoping so badly that I won’t have to deal with making the call for euthanasia.