Sunrise today was 4:30 AM. It seems like forever since I awoke to clear blue sky; the day graced us with such a thing this morning. It was a perfect morning for running: bright, not too warm, and only a slight breeze. I was happy to have had this morning to take breakfast on my balcony, and even more importantly, to realize that I have this full day off from work. The only thing I had scheduled for today, besides running 12 kms, was a tour this evening of the part of the course this of the Saskatoon Mogathon, for which I'm volunteering for this weekend. I'm being one of the cycle marshalls for only the half-marathon leg of the race, but I ended up riding along for the full 30 kms: the longest part of Mogathon. Next year, I'll try to be mindful to enter and participate as a racer.
As I sat out there on my balcony on this bright, cloud-free, morning, I looked at the state of my container garden. I would like to do more with the space and variety of plants out here. Perhaps this urge is coming from running around homes and neighbourhoods with the well-tended yards and more verdant areas, like Saskatchewan/Spadina Crescent. Thence are the sources of this bad case of garden-envy I seem to have. I became inspired to tour some greenhouses today with the rest of my free time in the afternoon. When it comes to tending plants, I'm more practical: my focus and experience is generally confined to growing herbs, hops, and tomatoes. I jokingly tell people that I'm a true bachelor gardener: if doesn't have any capacity to be made into pizza or beer*, I won't grow it. However, I'm becoming more open to the idea of including something more floral and sweet-smelling around my abode. The only problem to contend with is to make the space for it. I made time to explore some options.
As far as urban living goes, sure it's nice to have man-made convenience and the odd monumental attraction, but I don't consider a place truly civilized unless there are lots of trees, and decent public park or garden space around. I couldn't live in a place that didn't include any broad-lying tracts of nature or greenery. As I was biking with my volunteer group today, I ventured through places on the Westside that were so close to me, just directly across the river, but were yet unknown little areas of wonderful park space and landscaping. I'll be tracing more running routes around there in the future.
I indulged in a supper of beer, ribs and fries at my favourite pub before I went home. I didn't plan on heading out for so long or so far in the evening, and I had worked up too much of a calorie deficit to ignore; I just filled it with the wrong type of food. I met a familiar face and we chatted a while. I came home and started scribbling down some new/updated goals that I wish to reach.
Complete darkness fell at around 10:15 PM. The day ends as happily as it started. The first official day of summer continues to still be my favourite day of summer.
*- A self-sufficiency thought experiment: at my last place, hypothetically, had I removed all the lawn and grew some good quality two-row malting barley, I computed I would have had only enough of a yield for three to four 23 L carbuoys of homebrew beer. It would have been a tight squeeze for the combine though.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Petering Out, Retreating
"Taking good care of you means the people in your life will receive the best of you rather than what is left of you."
- Lorriane CohenIt felt like a really long day, as I was away from home for much of it. I came home tonight after work to my little girl who was eager to leap into my arms and greet me to give me my Fathers' Day hug and kiss, or so that's what I'd like to think her intent was. It's more likely she became very lonely and insecure with me being absent for so long.
I somehow had the need for a couple of strong shots of ice cold high octane booze after this day. The only thing I had around that seemed potent enough to fit the bill was some German kräuter liqueur (sadly, it wasn't even the good stuff, which is Jägermeister). The most uncomfortably sobering part of the day was the big lapse in memory I had which resulted in me misplacing a valuable article. Luckily, I recovered it, but it is so unlike me to lose track of my stuff and it freaks me out when that begins to happen. When it does happen, it pretty much is a sign and confirmation that I'm suffering from mental exhaustion; along with the physical exhaustion I've been hammering myself through during this course of training. I'm entering week 12 of the fifteen week program, and it doesn't get easier from here.
The other reason I resorted to taking a couple of drinks is because my sleep has been so poor for the past week. Nothing has been making me comfortable at bedtime. Each day without decent rest feels like another day which I have to awaken for to confront and treat in such a way like I'm going to war. Things have been jumping in my way that I think I could have handled better had I more patience, but it just doesn't feel like it's there anymore. I only feel my buttons are getting pressed and feel myself getting more and more irritable: it's not the way I want to face the world. I sincerely think need a retreat: a seriously long one.
The problem though is that I fare through vacation time just about as badly. I never have, or can find, the kind of company that I'd really want with me. No matter where I go, I always go alone, and I'm left to contend with the same miserable bastard that is making my life complicated most of the time. Of course, I refer to myself.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
To Do Lists and Problem Solving
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| My To Do List. . .Simplified |
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| My actual to do list. I must add to it. . . "Go back to Staples and return piece of shit". |
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| I should blow this up and hang it on my wall. . . BUT I WOULD NEED A F**KING FUNCTIONAL PRINTER TO DO THAT!!!! |
- Home/Household duties - cleaning, sorting, organizing. When I tidy up my environment, it helps to clear my mind better for tackling bigger issues. It's my effort to economize, master my space/assets, protect my pet/companion, and assess what I really "need"
- Fitness - when I use physical energy, I shake off a lot of excess energy that could be misused for hostility or aggression in handling challenging bigger issues. It's my effort to feel centred, maintain discipline and gain self-control.
- Learning/Education - for knowing and working within, or expanding the limits of what I can control when facing bigger issues. It's my effort to try to be less like my antagonists of the next point.
- Dealing with Other Peoples' Stupidity - Human stupidity is 99.99% of the source of my "bigger issues". Human stupidity usually involves people who want to make a problem more complicated than it really is with extra drama. It stems from people who are too damn lazy and won't commit to what they said they would do. It spreads and festers from ignorant and deluded people who don't hearken to the reality of a situation. Add in obnoxious/impudent assholes, or manipulative bullies who front up aggression and trickery: these are the sort of people who actively only want to worsen a problem and won't take ownership of their particular role in it. What is most shameful about them is that such people think that their shit doesn't stink, and the world owes then some big favour. That generally is the sum total of the "bigger issues" I face caused by such idiocy. I'm sure a lot of others would concur with the behaviours and attitudes I listed here as the source of their people-based problems. I'll admit that I've been stupid in throwing around some of the things that I just listed once in a while. If you personally have been affected by it, I'm sorry. Having enough guts to admit your guilt/wrongdoing and being honest with yourself is the first and biggest step in absolving yourself from the crux of stupidity. If you don't, then karma will dictate that you'll just be a continuous victim of your own idiocy.
*- The price for the right to "independent" living, whether you are disabled or not, entails being accountable for yourself and your own degree of well-being, taking responsibly for your own actions, and facing the consequences for your own mistakes. If this isn't happening, the scenario that unfolds is interdependent living, which is the more accurate term for all social spheres we live in.
**- Myself included.
Monday, June 11, 2012
I Couldn't Sneak Out Of This One
Since the year began, doing my extra program position time, I have been pretty successful in legitimately getting out of doing my stupid once every four week Monday night shift. I must say that six months of avoiding such a thing has been a pretty good stint. However, I'm aware that situations or people can't accommodate 100% of the time, and fate has to bitchslap me the odd time back into the reality of dealing with them. Of course it would have to happen tonight just because it's less than ideal. I'm pressed into doing it when it's only ten days away from summer solstice, when there is enough bright late evening daylight (even when cloudy like now), and a super early sunrise to screw up my systems really good.
I worked from noon until 3:00 PM today, and threw myself into bed at around 5:00 this afternoon. Amazingly, I did get some sleep, but not nearly enough to cope with tonight. The fates conspired to send some friggin' quasi-mongoloid child to do some loud and random play-shrieking in the school playground close to my building just to alarm and awake me at those exact points that make me feel both disoriented and physically unrested at their respective maxima.
I couldn't return to sleep if I wanted to, at least not in my bed. I felt too hot. The spot where I laid was like a furnace. I noticed Ella, even while she slept, instinctively somnambulated to the furthest corner of the bed to avoid my intense thermal chalk-outline. I finally dared myself to look and see what the actual time was. It was 8:10 PM.
I thought my next best move would be to combat the bodily stiffness I was already feeling, and I was starting to feel hungry. I ate some steak, bean salad, and greens, and had fruit with whipped cream for dessert.
It strikes me now, the major reason that I think I hate night shifts so much: I have never found the mental trick, or special magic override button, to make my body think that forced wakefulness is somehow enjoyable, when all it wants to do sense aches and pains in my joints and muscles, and curl up into a fetal position. I hate it when I can't conquer my own body. No mental tricks are happening because my mind is suffering as well, and it's doing every desperate measure to switch over to self-preservation mode, to ignore all the other secondary systems, and trying to avoid experiencing the physical havoc that the rest of my body senses. I hate watching my wits erode, and being crippled by foggy-headedness and absent-mindedness. These are some of the physiological symptoms of shock. Night shifts are bad and unnerving for me because my body is sincerely and literally undergoing a such a thing. I hate them because there is no such thing as possibly being able to work at my best when I'm stranded there this way.
I see it's nearly 10:00 PM, and I work in another hour. Writing about this was no help for me; all I can do is try to make things go over as smooth as possible. If I still have any marbles left, I'll have to finish this when I wind down next morning.
It's 11:30 AM next morning. I only slept two hours. I was awoken again by a combination of an abnormally vicious hunger and stray noise from outside (even with earplugs in). One more thing to generally mention as a reason as to why I ultimately dislike night shifts: I abhor, and won't tolerate any longer, anything that makes me less of a person than I am, or which steers me away from the kind of person I want to be. I put some kind of effort into improving my fitness by running and strengthening myself everyday; then when after I'm pressed into doing a night shift my body feels too weak to stand after being deprived of any moment I need to recover, leading to sometimes days of clumsiness and restlessness. It violates the standard I set for myself to be better physically. Prior to yesterday, I was balancing and solving complex equations, and reading and texting in other languages. Today, I'm trapped in physically feeling awake, but mentally incapable of even doing simple arithmetic; not remembering where I just placed something, or even what to call something in plain English. This violates the standard I set for myself to become a better person mentally. I was calm and at peace the day before yesterday, confident enough to face adverse and uncomfortable conditions resiliently. Now, I'm irritable enough to stand on the throat of anyone who doesn't let me have any peace. A night shift brings me closer to violating a standard I set for myself for being composed emotionally and having a character integrity that works for the better.
I hate night shifts because they weaken me; when I do one, I am then forced to reflect and admit to myself that I'm still stupid enough to allow all this to happen to me.
I worked from noon until 3:00 PM today, and threw myself into bed at around 5:00 this afternoon. Amazingly, I did get some sleep, but not nearly enough to cope with tonight. The fates conspired to send some friggin' quasi-mongoloid child to do some loud and random play-shrieking in the school playground close to my building just to alarm and awake me at those exact points that make me feel both disoriented and physically unrested at their respective maxima.
I couldn't return to sleep if I wanted to, at least not in my bed. I felt too hot. The spot where I laid was like a furnace. I noticed Ella, even while she slept, instinctively somnambulated to the furthest corner of the bed to avoid my intense thermal chalk-outline. I finally dared myself to look and see what the actual time was. It was 8:10 PM.
I thought my next best move would be to combat the bodily stiffness I was already feeling, and I was starting to feel hungry. I ate some steak, bean salad, and greens, and had fruit with whipped cream for dessert.
It strikes me now, the major reason that I think I hate night shifts so much: I have never found the mental trick, or special magic override button, to make my body think that forced wakefulness is somehow enjoyable, when all it wants to do sense aches and pains in my joints and muscles, and curl up into a fetal position. I hate it when I can't conquer my own body. No mental tricks are happening because my mind is suffering as well, and it's doing every desperate measure to switch over to self-preservation mode, to ignore all the other secondary systems, and trying to avoid experiencing the physical havoc that the rest of my body senses. I hate watching my wits erode, and being crippled by foggy-headedness and absent-mindedness. These are some of the physiological symptoms of shock. Night shifts are bad and unnerving for me because my body is sincerely and literally undergoing a such a thing. I hate them because there is no such thing as possibly being able to work at my best when I'm stranded there this way.
I see it's nearly 10:00 PM, and I work in another hour. Writing about this was no help for me; all I can do is try to make things go over as smooth as possible. If I still have any marbles left, I'll have to finish this when I wind down next morning.
It's 11:30 AM next morning. I only slept two hours. I was awoken again by a combination of an abnormally vicious hunger and stray noise from outside (even with earplugs in). One more thing to generally mention as a reason as to why I ultimately dislike night shifts: I abhor, and won't tolerate any longer, anything that makes me less of a person than I am, or which steers me away from the kind of person I want to be. I put some kind of effort into improving my fitness by running and strengthening myself everyday; then when after I'm pressed into doing a night shift my body feels too weak to stand after being deprived of any moment I need to recover, leading to sometimes days of clumsiness and restlessness. It violates the standard I set for myself to be better physically. Prior to yesterday, I was balancing and solving complex equations, and reading and texting in other languages. Today, I'm trapped in physically feeling awake, but mentally incapable of even doing simple arithmetic; not remembering where I just placed something, or even what to call something in plain English. This violates the standard I set for myself to become a better person mentally. I was calm and at peace the day before yesterday, confident enough to face adverse and uncomfortable conditions resiliently. Now, I'm irritable enough to stand on the throat of anyone who doesn't let me have any peace. A night shift brings me closer to violating a standard I set for myself for being composed emotionally and having a character integrity that works for the better.
I hate night shifts because they weaken me; when I do one, I am then forced to reflect and admit to myself that I'm still stupid enough to allow all this to happen to me.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Results of the Bridge City Boogie: 5 km Race
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The Day Before: It rained for most of the day on Saturday. I did strength training for most of the morning. I collected some gear at Brainsport, and had lunch at Szechuan Kitchen. I had a small nap before I began my shift at 3:00 PM. Very low energy for the rest of the day (I blame the dreary weather), and some cramping (from the workout earlier) later in the evening. My carb-load for today was mostly made up of bread, rice noodles, and kvas (Ukrainian rocket fuel).
Wake Up/Breakfast: Up at 5:30, did some upper body exercises. Breakfast was a protein smoothie: 1/2 cup frozen blueberries, 4 large strawberries, 1 measure Kaizen protein powder, 1 tsp Ruby Reds nutritional supplement, blended with 1 cup Kombucha tea. I skipped out on making coffee (wish I hadn't).
5 Kilometer Race Time: 8:30, beginning at PotashCorp Park. Rode bike there to spare myself the misery of finding parking. It rained heavily all morning. I was thoroughly drenched before the race even started.
Starting Position: In the first quarter of the front of the 5 km runners' pack.
Most Challenging Part of the Race: As with the last race, I was confined by the major crowd congestion at the beginning of the race. I did a lot of puddle-dodging to try to keep my sensor from being saturated with water. Being completely drenched from head to toe with rain meant that I was carrying probably an extra 3 kg of water on me. I honestly didn't think I drank that much, but it felt like I overdid it with hydration this time: carrying too much water internally as well. My last two kilometers were difficult with an overloaded bladder needing to desperately be emptied. My iPod wasn't working properly with all the extra moisture and my shirt sleeve slapping against its touchscreen was screwing up pause and start times, thus negatively affecting my data. It was hard to "boogie" without any tunes as well, since I turned them off to free up the working memory and save my dwindling power on the iTouch to allow it to process the run.
Things I'm most pleased about with my performance: Just happy to be able to scrounge up enough energy during these dreary and drippy couple days to allow myself to commit to this. I think I did actually better than I thought I would given the less than adequate racing conditions and weather. From my Nike + readout, I seem to have wasted less energy and distance passing people this time: making a conscious effort to minimize my lateral movement. I just found out the results; I'm happy that I just made it into the sub 24 minute category (the one with the readings in weird short format).
Final Results: Official results acquired from this Star Phoenix link.
- My Time: 23:56 (one of the 133 runners that I roughly counted that made it across the line within 24 minutes)
- My Average Pace: Calculated to be roughly 4' 47"/km
- My Ranking: No ranking breakdown provided. It is as yet uncalculated due to the complicated time listing format here. My rough reckoning is that I'm 132nd. Format note: times under 24 minutes are listed as mm:ss; times between 24 minutes and 60 minutes are listed as mm:ss:00; times 60 minutes and 1 second and over are listed as hh:mm:ss.
- No Age or Sex division statistics provided. I counted 2219 racers listed in the 5 km event.
- Overall, I finished within the top six percent.
After the Race: Collected my gear (from the very chaotic valet station) and had a slow and soggy bike ride home. I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't find the rest of the fellow runners from my workplace afterward who took part in the event. I was scheduled to run an extra 23 kms as part of my training commitment. However, I already proved to myself that I can run in these adverse conditions, and seeing that I still needed to work this afternoon, I didn't think it wise to completely drain myself of energy. Plus, since I have no confirmation yet that my cohort at work will be able to trade tomorrow's night shift with me it would be foolish to press things too hard. I just wanted to shed off my smelly, drenched gear; then jump into a hot bathtub, to prevent any cramping. I did just that. I then made some coffee, started blogging this; while trying to regain some energy for work later this afternoon.
What I've Learned: Double check new supplements that I'm experimenting with for any possible diuretic side-effects. I think I hit on a sensible pattern for tapering down activity before a race. From being a little more relaxed during these past couple days, I see how badly I'm risking over training. Seeing that Nike + has totally botched up it's system, and completely trashed the automated coaching program, this is probably a good time to revamp the one I'm on now: finding one that provides a better outcome for necessary rest periods and sensible mileage goals.
My Reward(s): I went for a Super Bean Burrito at Taco Time. A kind of a stupid reward, I'm sure, but I welcomed the break from having to cook for myself. I only had enough time for fast food, and I haven't been at this franchise in 15 years (I forgot how much I liked their hot sauce). What I'd really like is enough quality time off to enjoy the stuff I already have (puzzles, literature, my dog's company, etc.) that's here that entertains me.
Grateful for: No grief from a sore knee like the last race; Sport Shield compound (no blisters or chafing, one less thing to irritate me); seasoning myself to more harsher racing conditions; that the amount of effort I put into this didn't completely drain my energy from me.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Getting Ready to Boogie
This weekend is the Bridge City Boogie, and I'm entered in the 5 km race of the event. I'm still at that stage where I'm focusing on trying to burn off more fat rather than building up my speed. When comparing my weight stats from June of last year, I'm seven pounds heavier now than I was back then. However, through the course of training this year I'm reaching and surpassing distances now that I wasn't able to achieve until late July/early August of last year.
This race coming up this Sunday is only five kilometers; what makes a shorter race so challenging is that they are faster paced, and I don't think I have come close to a level of amping up my speed yet. The other thing that is a trial for me now is setting a proper interval for tapering off activity before a race day. I (stupidly) did some new form of interval training, mostly uphill, mostly against the wind on a day when it was the windiest day I ever tried running through. My legs were totally butchered after more than eight kilometers of acceleration trials and fartleks*. I squeaked in 16 kms today, but I don't think it was a bright thing to do after yesterday. For tapering down, I'll just be doing some light cycling, some upper body weights for cross training, and relaxing as much as possible before Boogie day.
The other big issue is (has been) getting enough refreshing sleep due to the rising heat during the season. Overworked muscles don't heal and build up without adequate sleep. Sometimes I really wish I didn't have such a thermogenic metabolism.** When seasons change, I can easily make the physiological adjustment from warm to cold quite well; it takes me forever though to get acclimated when it starts getting hotter. I remember a few years ago when I lived in the topics once for a six month stint. I pretty much never slept during the first two months I spent there. I just seem to be pre-conditioned to need to live in a cooler climate; it seems to be in my blood.
The only other thing to add is my disappointment with the Nike plus website. I don't know what kind of monkeys they have been training for "enhancing" their site, but ever since they switched the format of the site over I've had nothing but trouble with my profile information and it's fraught with other errors and bugs that could misreport/misrepresent my running data.*** The coaching schedule I was using is totally gone, and there is nothing there as a replacement application for it. It matters because the next gift for myself (for running the Bridge City Boogie) would have been a heart monitor that is compatible with Nike + apps, but I won't be getting it now if all I can expect is malfunctioning due to this programming ineptitude.
What I'm sure I'll enjoy most about Boogie Sunday is seeing some of my co-workers, and people I serve, getting involved as well.
*- Fartlek - it's a word of Swedish origin, adopted into runners'-speak, describing a training technique which roughly translates to "speed play"; not anything to do with running related gastro-intestinal methane expulsion.
**- I can comfortably run shirtless with temperatures around 10 degrees Celsius, that's how warm my body gets while I exercise or exert myself. I wish I could somehow convert all the extra heat my body makes into propulsion, or something else more practical or creative.
***-Enhancement would imply that it works better; it doesn't, in fact it functions worse. It almost looks like they probably used the same sweatshop labour they had to make their shoes programming their website.
This race coming up this Sunday is only five kilometers; what makes a shorter race so challenging is that they are faster paced, and I don't think I have come close to a level of amping up my speed yet. The other thing that is a trial for me now is setting a proper interval for tapering off activity before a race day. I (stupidly) did some new form of interval training, mostly uphill, mostly against the wind on a day when it was the windiest day I ever tried running through. My legs were totally butchered after more than eight kilometers of acceleration trials and fartleks*. I squeaked in 16 kms today, but I don't think it was a bright thing to do after yesterday. For tapering down, I'll just be doing some light cycling, some upper body weights for cross training, and relaxing as much as possible before Boogie day.
The other big issue is (has been) getting enough refreshing sleep due to the rising heat during the season. Overworked muscles don't heal and build up without adequate sleep. Sometimes I really wish I didn't have such a thermogenic metabolism.** When seasons change, I can easily make the physiological adjustment from warm to cold quite well; it takes me forever though to get acclimated when it starts getting hotter. I remember a few years ago when I lived in the topics once for a six month stint. I pretty much never slept during the first two months I spent there. I just seem to be pre-conditioned to need to live in a cooler climate; it seems to be in my blood.
The only other thing to add is my disappointment with the Nike plus website. I don't know what kind of monkeys they have been training for "enhancing" their site, but ever since they switched the format of the site over I've had nothing but trouble with my profile information and it's fraught with other errors and bugs that could misreport/misrepresent my running data.*** The coaching schedule I was using is totally gone, and there is nothing there as a replacement application for it. It matters because the next gift for myself (for running the Bridge City Boogie) would have been a heart monitor that is compatible with Nike + apps, but I won't be getting it now if all I can expect is malfunctioning due to this programming ineptitude.
What I'm sure I'll enjoy most about Boogie Sunday is seeing some of my co-workers, and people I serve, getting involved as well.
*- Fartlek - it's a word of Swedish origin, adopted into runners'-speak, describing a training technique which roughly translates to "speed play"; not anything to do with running related gastro-intestinal methane expulsion.
**- I can comfortably run shirtless with temperatures around 10 degrees Celsius, that's how warm my body gets while I exercise or exert myself. I wish I could somehow convert all the extra heat my body makes into propulsion, or something else more practical or creative.
***-Enhancement would imply that it works better; it doesn't, in fact it functions worse. It almost looks like they probably used the same sweatshop labour they had to make their shoes programming their website.
Friday, June 1, 2012
And So Comes Another Summer
I'm outside tonight, writing from my balcony,watching the moon become fuller on this Friday night on the warmest spring weekend yet so far. It seems to be drawing out all the crazies. I can hear some old drunken fool on his (her?)* balcony with the loudest, most obnoxious sounding, laughter I've ever heard coming from the building the next block over from where I am. Idiots on crotch-rocket motorcycles with unregulated exhaust pipes are tearing down the other street making as much bloody noise as possible. I really hate those things. It seems like I had too long of a day to contend with any of this stupidity, but at least it closes with the sense that the early part of it was productive. The only attraction that keeps me being outside tonight is the smell of someone burning birch firewood in some backyard fire pit somewhere. It's one of those smells that I really enjoy.
I've glanced back at a few of my previous entries. I need to take a break from writing on the subject of running for a while, as well as easing up on the activity itself. It's bordering on becoming both obsessive and maladaptive. Today, I was helping someone move some boxes and articles, then did my regular job after that; noticing how badly my knees were reacting to the lifting and pivoting. It's sinking in how urgently I need some rest and recovery time for the sake of my joints. With trying to phase into chill out mode, I'm using time to start thinking about other stuff I want to do for recreation for the summer. I must say that with all the running there didn't come any great concern about what was coming up next for events in the next couple months.
I would normally opt to do some fishing, but the first day experience of fishing I had this year was so bad that I feel inclined to swear it off for a while. Movies were the only other thing I could think of that were passive enough to allow me to knit back together. The only things I saw in the current and future cinema listings that I'd like to check out are Men In Black III, and Prometheus. All else is the regular same standard affair of summer activities here in this city with which I've had "been there, done that" moments. This could probably be the summer that I check out more new restaurants and lounges around town. All I know is that I need some holiday time time badly, and I don't want to waste any minute of it if I ever get any coming my way.
I've been so fully immersed in the health improvement part of my ambitions, that I've been neglecting the effort to improve wealth, wisdom, relationships, and spirit part of the equation. Getting more involved in extracurricular social engagements and career enhancing activities has neither been anything I've been targeting much of my time for in the last while, nor have I even been finding such opportunities for such things in my line of fire.
Something has to change; I'm becoming envious of those people who are taking radical steps in trying to change their lives for the better, like my friend who I helped move today. Time off to soul search is becoming a definite must.
*- This cackling is so awful, nerve-grating, and annoyingly haggard-sounding that I can't even ascertain which gender its source could be.
I've glanced back at a few of my previous entries. I need to take a break from writing on the subject of running for a while, as well as easing up on the activity itself. It's bordering on becoming both obsessive and maladaptive. Today, I was helping someone move some boxes and articles, then did my regular job after that; noticing how badly my knees were reacting to the lifting and pivoting. It's sinking in how urgently I need some rest and recovery time for the sake of my joints. With trying to phase into chill out mode, I'm using time to start thinking about other stuff I want to do for recreation for the summer. I must say that with all the running there didn't come any great concern about what was coming up next for events in the next couple months.
I would normally opt to do some fishing, but the first day experience of fishing I had this year was so bad that I feel inclined to swear it off for a while. Movies were the only other thing I could think of that were passive enough to allow me to knit back together. The only things I saw in the current and future cinema listings that I'd like to check out are Men In Black III, and Prometheus. All else is the regular same standard affair of summer activities here in this city with which I've had "been there, done that" moments. This could probably be the summer that I check out more new restaurants and lounges around town. All I know is that I need some holiday time time badly, and I don't want to waste any minute of it if I ever get any coming my way.
I've been so fully immersed in the health improvement part of my ambitions, that I've been neglecting the effort to improve wealth, wisdom, relationships, and spirit part of the equation. Getting more involved in extracurricular social engagements and career enhancing activities has neither been anything I've been targeting much of my time for in the last while, nor have I even been finding such opportunities for such things in my line of fire.
Something has to change; I'm becoming envious of those people who are taking radical steps in trying to change their lives for the better, like my friend who I helped move today. Time off to soul search is becoming a definite must.
*- This cackling is so awful, nerve-grating, and annoyingly haggard-sounding that I can't even ascertain which gender its source could be.
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