August Civic Holiday/Vacation 2018 (Lagom, Hygge, and Kalsarikännit)

As usual, as glorious as it can be, this summer in Saskatoon is passing too quickly. This one seems to be flickering past me even more rapidly than others. It may be because I have been overall happier. The inclusion of endearing forces in my life are doing me good. The absence of some other tyrannical, narcissistic forces, and whiney nagging people has allowed me to climb still further out of a hole of negativity. I’m enjoying the reprieve from that thus far. I feel strong enough to be a supportive friend again, and to be there for those who matter. 

It’s the beginning of another stretch of holidays for me, and yet I honestly haven’t been that eager to formulate some grandiose, concrete plan for a getaway for it; perhaps because it’s the first time after the longest time that I finally feel like there is nothing I really need to escape from. The most off-kilter thing I done throughout this time around was daring to play a clandestine poker game in a meat locker with a bunch of Russian gangsters*. My brain has been switched on to entertaining myself with puzzles and games again, on top of digesting some literature. It’s a personal barometer that indicates good things for me. It’s a peaceful retreat for this time, even when the annual ruckus of the Ex appears once again in the neighbourhood. My internal clock is already shifting itself now, by default, to waking up even earlier, and trying to nap a few hours during the heat of the day to compensate for the rest I won’t be getting at night. Yet, despite all that, I can retreat into my own head now more easily with a greater sense of clarity and contentment, without any great interference; and to seek such a thing from someplace else right now seems like a needless and futile squandering of energies. With temperatures rising as high as 40 degrees near week’s end, I’m even more disinclined to be too active. By then, the thought of playing games in an actual meat locker might really be appealing. Even more desirable would be an upgrade to a walk-in beer cooler.

I did give myself a few moments to wonder about and reassess my own personal reasons as to why I would travel. I did so because I was probed with such questions by my sweetheart about what I’d like to do for my upcoming birthday. The thrill of travel isn’t planting my ass on the sand of some beach, nor is it even visiting museums or festivals, though they’d be interesting enough I’m sure. Neither does much for me in exploring or understanding the vibe of the place, which I think is the whole jest of traveling to begin with. With this gaming mentality going on for me now, I realize that the thrill of travel for me is just to get a whole new perspective on other lifestyles and challenging myself to interact with them successfully. That’s like a game in and of itself. It includes the challenge of using and interacting with another language and finding avenues to do so for sake of just getting around and taking care of your basal needs of eating, lodging, and moving from spot to spot. It’s strange for me to see people who have traveled far more than I have, and yet who are totally scared shitless at the thought of daring to depart from their all-English-speaking tour group from their isolated resort. They say that they like to tour around; and at the same time are totally xenophobic. As introverted as I am I still like taking the more immersive and anthropological approach to traveling and touring by vagabonding.

This gaming/puzzling phase I’m in has made me both reflect and fantasize about the scenes I liked and would like to retreat to. I got nostalgic thinking about watching the citizens playing spirited games of dominoes in the outdoors taverns when I was doing life in Valencia many years ago. In past summers at some lake with family, when we were not cooling off in the water, or fishing, or eating, or listening to stories and gossip around a campfire at night, we were spending time playing Kaiser**, Meadow Lake Rummy**, or other card games in the campsite or cabin. I thought about how content I’d be and how cool it would be just chill out in a café nearby a souk in Istanbul playing backgammon with some locals, or perhaps learning mah-jong in a park in Shanghai or Hong Kong. I think about this because apart from the need to buy and consume, use math and logic, and listening to music; entertaining oneself with gaming is another thing that can transcend language, or at least be another avenue to learn about language and culture by this other amusing and informal vehicle.

Speaking of language and culture, that has been the subject of my non-fiction reading during this time off. It once again is a study into the Nordic/Scandinavian lifestyle, and being a nerd for linguistics. I should diversify into studying other cultural viewpoints, but once again, I can’t help but to be attracted to the subject of Scandinavia, as it always intrigues, interests, and impresses me. It is partly because despite with me not being immersed in such a culture, I yet somehow already live by, learned through my upbringing, or have adopted similar such equivalent ideas and ethics***; I just now have discovered new words for some of these memes by some strange synchronicity, which aren’t conveniently packaged into the English vocabulary for me to describe my own personal modus operandi. It’s the whole Law of Jante (Wikipedia source) thing they got going on over there - that I can deeply appreciate, which is sort of a Scandinavian societal modality that serves to curb things like vanity, greed, undo pride, pretentiousness, and a false sense of entitlement. The book I’ve been reading is called Lagom: the Swedish Art of Balanced Living, by Linnea Dunne. A guide for balanced living seems to be an appropriate thing to read while spending some holiday time alone. I touched on the subject of Lagom in a past entry, but I didn’t do it any justice in trying to elaborate on it.

The best new concept words I learned from this book that I can appreciate are:

·         Köpstopp – (pronounced sort of like “short stop”, switching the “rt” with "p") It’s the discipline of applying a spending cap for a given amount of time: a voluntary moratorium on shopping for anything beyond essentials for living. I experimented with this at the beginning of the year, I just didn’t have this concise name for this behaviour. A way to tame mindless consumption.

·         Panta – a recycling fee for your cans and bottles. The Swedish form of what would be the equivalent of a Sarcan refund here. A monetary incentive is always a good thing to encourage a cleaner environment.

·         Plastbanta – The banning of toxin plastic products in your household, and opting for wood/bamboo, stainless steel. I was already shifting towards this trend; again, I just didn’t have a concise name for it before.

·         Lördagsgodis- Not everything falls under the self-regulatory restrictiveness of the Laws of Jante, or the discipline of Lagom in Sweden. There are memes for unfettered indulgence, like this one meaning “Saturday goodies/candies” basically meaning going whole hog on sweets and snacks, but just for once a week. It coincides and accords with my cheat days whenever I have the hair-brain schemes of dieting, and whenever I entreat myself to something weird and exotic to experiment with in my kitchen, as the rhythm for that typically falls on Saturday.

·         Fredagsmys – Another once a week institution. This time meaning roughly “Friday coziness”, relaxing and retreating in your own home with nothing but your snacks at the ready and other creature comforts, and no other obligations to do anything else but veg out. Being that they neighbour as countries, I imagine there may be some correlation with the Finnish meme of kalsarikännit at this time of the week (read on further).   

·         Pyttipanna- A general cooking method of creatively making the most out of the leftovers in your fridge and pantry. Something I do all the time as a personal principle, because being wasteful disgusts me.

·         Loppis – A word meaning to tour flea markets, yard sales, and other places for gently used goods. Loppisrunda means making an entire day’s event of it. Another movement towards frugality, and waste-reduction, repurposing, and giving second hand items a new home and life.

The other Nordic memes I’d like to look into more, study, and explore are the concepts of hygge (Danish) – something akin to “coziness” but I’m led to believe and understand that it is something more divine and intricate than that, and the Finnish institution of kalsarikännit – I apologize that the translation is not too succinct: it roughly means “underwear drunk” but it actually essentially means succumbing to the urge to get intoxicated at home alone in your underwear after a bad day, with no intention of going out and socializing. That’s perhaps the perfect one to test out on a smoky, smouldering, 40 degree August afternoon, like what’s coming ahead.

*- Not for reals; in the Xbox game Prominence Poker. It’s the fact that I’m playing video games to begin with, instead of immersing myself in some other strange little project: that’s what is off-kilter for me, but it beats frying in the merciless heat for now.

** - Two very regional games unique to the area where I was raised here in Saskatchewan. 

*** - Perhaps it’s all mysteriously inherited and instinctual, seeing now that 25% of genome is Scandinavian after a DNA test. Nature versus nurture arguments will be for some other time.

The Science Geek Kitchen

It’s the first weekend of what we would call the beginning of late Fall in this territory. The glimpse of the mostly denuded trees, and the past two days’ drizzle has snuffed out the fizzle for anything more adventurous that I may have had in mind. I’m definitely done with dealing with cooking projects for a while. The freezer is full now, and I ran out of containers. I’m starting to putter about with the chore of packing away some my summer apparel and utilities. I get to see just how well the hammock frame I built in spring optimally tucks away with a minimum of space consumed in a closet once it’s disassembled. I’m also mulling over a design in my head for simple collapsible wood crib that I can construct for storing a larger stash of fire wood with the remaining scraps of short planks I have left over from that last project; reclaiming more space given my deck’s limited girth. I’ll be (at least I hope I’ll be) a lot more active this winter than I was for the last one. Given the observations I was making through my depressing infirmity and forced idleness and confinement through last winter, I thought I should do some planning on improving my home’s interior. The hammock project was an eye-opener as to how I essentially doubled my sleeping space with minimalism and modular component fabrication. Unlocking and freeing up space while making the most out of storage is a theme that has become a real mindworm for me.

I watched a bit of a “tiny home” marathon the other day on HGTV; studying the brilliant means and methods some people are using to get the maximum benefit out of a minimal space. That fuelled me with a bit of inspiration as well, and reminded me that I’m still ultimately the master my little realm, and that I’m fortunate enough to have the space that I do, such as it is. My office and kitchen are the biggest targets when it comes to wanting to create effective usage of storage and space, each room with their own different respective issues. I’m concentrating on my kitchen first, as it is that place of the two rooms in my dwelling that is used most and has the greatest play with possibly conserving energy. I also think ahead to the future in terms of what will change socially and environmentally for this region, and how one should prepare for that. I speculate the following things:

·         Population growing faster than the infrastructure is to support it. Resource drains or taking things offline to rectify the problems may be more frequent.

·         Water becoming scarcer, as the city expands, or if droughts become more frequent, and more advisories to conserve water are more likely to happen. Water utility bills go up.

·         Energy costs in general going up, that is if we don’t make a better effort to exploit solar and other alternative energy sources.

·         More costs for waste disposal as our landfill areas become overtaxed. More costs for disposal, waste quotas, and then subsequent penalties for excessive household refuse.

To cope with dealing with those things in the future, it is best to practice and get into the habit of preparing for them now.

Overall, the trend of today in this city, as elsewhere, is having new houses being built with fewer people living in them, and having ever more expansive kitchens where people are generally doing less and less cooking in them. Some people who think they know me would guess that a big kitchen is one thing that I would dream for and covet, but to be honest it isn’t. It may impress others, but not me. It’s a pathetic irony and a stunning inefficacy and burden for me to see: all this wasted space just to be used for mostly just opening tins of soup, making sandwiches, or using a counter to throw take out containers on, because no one seems to have actual time to do real cooking anymore. They are elsewise too busy trying to build and secure a high paying career to pay a sky-high mortgage, which includes this feature kitchen that only serves to be a white elephant. I reflect back on the days of watching my Mom do the crazy amount and output of cooking and food processing that she did in our simple little  kitchen when we lived on the farm: one that was spatially about as big as mine is, if not relatively smaller. I suppose it served as a good example as how to manage my own. In the past few years, in terms of my culinary talent, I have been growing in both skill and desire for more daring experiments on the wild and radical side of food and prep techniques. I now feel a stronger need to set up a proper kitchen space that logically reflects that. Mentally, I’ve been putting a wrecking ball through it, and trying to figure out how to make things ideal from the floor up.

The elements of time and energy constraints for single occupants are also the variables in the equation of my idea of a perfect and efficient kitchen space that are often overlooked by architects and designers. Being reduced to the sole manpower of a single occupant doubles or triples maintenance and cleaning time and labour. Having a larger kitchen space is senseless; keeping a smaller, efficient, better organized one is an absolute must. The only sound reason for needing to have the kitchen size that I do have is the fact that I do a lot of home brewing. Unfortunately, the processing and storage of large quantities of liquids/alcohol consumes relatively a lot of space. I also have some stranger things that most other single men wouldn’t think of getting, like pickling jars and canning pots. I do the best I can with what I have, but I’m not exempting myself from trying to learn more about things that I could do to improve. I have a lot established already. To watch me operate my dwelling’s kitchen, my methods most look pretty eccentric or radical compared to most other average bachelors’ homes. No matter how radical it seems, my method in my BACHELOR kitchen (as mentioned in an earlier post, about another episode of kitchen space reclamation) most certainly edges toward the practical and scientific for the sake of all dimensions of time/space/energy/cost efficiency. Here is what I mean:  

Steam and Pressure – For making flavourful concentrated broths in a fraction of the time instead of conventional boiling and reduction, nothing beats a pressure cooker. I love this thing. It’s great for small scale canning also, using a tenth of the water volume and less than a quarter of the time to sterilize and seal jars compared to conventional boiling immersion method. I’m surprised that, despite the more modern built-in safety features that they are now crafted with, there are a few professional chefs out there who are still too chicken shit to use these things. They do require a bit of close-up monitoring, hard to do in a busy and distraction loaded commercial kitchen I guess, I’ll give them that. Mine cooks at a pressure of 10 atmospheres before bleeding out steam, equating to

So far, I’ve been lucky and
 nothing has yet went KABOOM!!!

about 100 metres under water below sea level at 16.5 degrees Celsius (coincidentally, my preferred room temperature).  It scores big with me for the factors of reduced time, hence reduced kilowatt hours, and ultimately good if you are genuinely concerned about conserving/rationing water (see further below about emergency preparedness). I always thought that in terms of giving true aid to people in third world countries, education and technology is sometimes better than straight up food and healthcare. I think of the scene of the Nepal earthquakes in the recent past as an example. In such impoverished high altitude zones with inclement climates and scarce growth, in like the Andes or Himalayas, where you have to burn more fuel for reaching adequate cooking temperatures using water at those altitudes, aide should entail air dropping pressure cookers to these remote places. The problem in such regions sometimes isn’t a question of a shortage of food, but a scarcity of wood or other sufficient combustible material for cooking and preserving it properly (to prevent disease), which leads to wastages and then the consequential shortages. Another problem is difficulty to access to water if there is no convenient infrastructure to get it directed to homes. Using less water, and less time to boil it, means less energy to use. Less cooking time plus wasting less water means less trekking to get a sufficient amount of it. Children are often used for such tasks, hauling water and collecting sticks and animal dung to burn for fuel, and if the labour of subsistence and toiling for essentials becomes greater than time for schooling, these kids are becoming more deprived of an education. Having a simple pressure cooker in such households could help limit all that. Just a theory of mine. 

The quintessential wok with bamboo steamers. A good ploy for
maximizing verticle space while reducing the work of
four burners into one Depending on what I steam, my trick is to
collect the drippings, and cook Ramen or Udon noodle soup
 in the wok's water while I steam the other goodies above it.  

Chinese (Asian) Practices and Methods – I don’t mean to specifically stereotype the Chinese, or to stigmatize them; I am referring to any of the kitchen practices of the people of the Far East Asian nations living in modernity (South Korea, Japan, Singapore, etc.) who live with the stresses of over-population, and yet can produce amazing things with limited space and resources. I just assume that the Chinese, the ones with the largest population, who have historically endured more adversities involving invasions and war, famine, and more recently, shortages/rationing wrought by the Maoist regime and overcrowded urban living, have had a longer time and a lot of practice in adapting, and even prospering with such restrictions than anyone else of that region. Learning from the solutions they have created to endure such ordeals seems rather relevant. In Korea, a typical “large” kitchen is probably runs between a half and a third of the size of mine. And then there is Japan: a place where they invented capsule hotels, and have formed and grown cubic watermelons* for ease of shipping and storage. In places like the Shinjuku district in Tokyo, there are entire sushi and cocktail bars squeezed into spots that are less than the size of my kitchen and dining area combined. Going that small is a bit ludicrous and nothing to really aspire to, but therein are the lessons of reducing the need for more single-purpose small appliances for food prep, exploiting more vertical space on one cooking spot (like with the steamer), learning few more of their fancy cutting tricks with my BSFCC (big sharp fuckin’ Chinese cleaver) and using overall less of energy and space. Using all that with current surface area of the counter that I have makes for a more comfortable and effective theatre of operation. 
 

It looks like a collection of
parasitic round worm
specimens from a high school
biology lab, but it's actually
shredded parsnips pickled in
lime, ginger, and garlic

Incubation Environment- I have already expounded enough on how fermenting and pickling at home is for the greater good in stopping needless waste. My kitchen is a fermentation kitchen, meaning that I have to make it easy to sanitize and control the temperature accordingly to make my critters in the carboys, crocks, and jars do their job happily. A cluttered kitchen with hard to clean surface areas is a no-no. There is to be a minimal of any decorative things in here, because all they do is collect dust and thus the kind of crap that would risk contaminating and infecting my living cultures. The larger the kitchen space, the harder it is to be able to prevent this. The kitchen garbage containment is purposely left small, so that it is taken out more frequently to prevent the invasion of mold and fry fruits.

Emergency Rations – If you truly have any scientific/rational mind at all, then you should always be grounded in the reality that some natural disaster at some time has the potential of popping up at any given moment, depriving you of the conveniences that you are commonly used to. Keeping, at the very least, four days of worth of canned food and hydrating fluid around the place for God-only-knows-what kind of shit-storm you may have to deal with (thinking of a worst case scenario of a really bad long weekend when emergency services might be delayed: from a Friday to a Monday). It’s rare that any severe weather related impacts last beyond that. In my region around my home, things like mega-lightning storms, or possibly a tornado, or an ice storm/blizzard, or super-cold snap that knocks out the power, creates water line breaks, and makes it too fierce to navigate outside safely are the most likely weather scenarios that could keep me homebound and stranded. A good measure is having food around that is pre-processed, nutritious, and doesn’t require power to cook it, or some means available that allows you to cook and boil water without electricity, like using a portable butane burner/camping stove (with extra gas canisters) like I have. The water reserve system I have is unique and practical (hint, it doesn’t require me being stupid and buying and storing bottled water, and involves stuff that I can recycle at home for no money), but I’ll elaborate on that another time when it becomes topical.

Nesting Bowls – In a smaller kitchen, my adage of “If it don’t nest, it don’t pass the test” applies.
This ten bowl set here has a collective total capacity of 14 litres (depending on what’s in it, flour/dough can pile up; liquid doesn’t). It all tucks away within a 0.005 m³ space. Packing things within things, like a set of Russian matryoshka dolls, is my more favoured way of organizing and freeing space.

Inert Energy Food Storage – I always have dried foods or canned foods around and keep them in reasonable plenitude. Pantry space for that is always important. They can not only serve as emergency rations, but the other nice feature about them is that they don’t need any more power to keep them preserved, unlike relying on a fridge or freezer. Dehydrated food is shrunk and thus economizes on space. Jars are reusable. Buying bulk food to fill them is cheaper, reduces packaging, and is ultimately better for the planet. 

Ferro-Magnetic Induction –This latest little acquisition of mine is the new boss in town out of all my

 

small appliances: a portable induction cooktop. It’s a misnomer to call it a burner, because it itself emits no heat. The only heat on the surface of the cooker is that which is absorbed from the cooking pot. It can bring a litre of water to a full boil up to eight minutes faster than the highest setting on my conventional electric coil burner on the stove top, with less power! It’s even faster at boiling water than my electric kettle. I’ll have more precise digital temperature control when heating stuff in a range below boiling for culturing. It’s perfect of singles like me who only are only cooking with one pot or pan anyway. To put it bluntly, my electric range is a piece of shit in comparison, and microwave ovens never heat evenly. I’m curious to see how many kWh will be peeled of my next utility bill as I use this thing more frequently instead of my regular stove. It’s easier to clean, greener, super-efficient, safer to use with safeguard technology programmed in it, and plus it’s just cool to say that I can cook with freakin’ magnetism. No self-respecting science geek gourmand should be without one. However, because it functions with magnetic fields, it only works with iron or stainless steel cookware. See next point.

Iron (or Stainless Steel) –I will keep only cast iron or stainless steel in my kitchen, and avoid the fancy-schmancy pots and pans with non-stick coatings as much as I can. When those coatings chip, flake, or get scraped off because SOME ASSHOLE WAS USING A METAL UTENSIL ON THEM!!!!!, destroying the surface and thus depleting it of its purpose**, they obviously get into our food, and they are proving to be toxic compounds. More and more studies are suggesting that these “state-of-the-art” pan-coating chemicals are linked with things like certain cancers and creating obesogens: compounds that trigger cellular metabolisms to produce more adipose tissue. I’m more prone to being genetically predisposed to obesity as it is, and I need no extra help from that shit. Once the coating is gone, they are useless and need to be scrapped, therefore wasteful, adding another toxic thing into a landfill. A good cast iron or stainless steel pot or pan will last longer than I will if treated and seasoned right. In general, it’s probably a good idea just to avoid space age coatings, plus plastics all together for stirring and serving utensils too. If you wouldn’t eat a cheap plastic spoon for fear of it being somehow toxic to you, then you shouldn’t be dipping and gradually dissolving bits of it into your hot food while it cooks. There are already warnings about microwaving food in plastic containers. A metal spoon/ladle or spatula will last longer many times longer with only a slightly higher relative cost. Wood or bamboo are other options too if one is into cheap and renewable.

**Nothing screams out attention to detail for conserving and efficiently using space than using science to take a thing that naturally grows round and making it square.

**-You know who you are, person(s) at work (no names mentioned)!

Siesta Fiesta (Part 2: Having a Fit)

I'm so glad for the 180 degree change in weather status since the weekend. It allowed me to move my

An exploded view of my
joinery system

mass of lumber and dirty business outside and continue on with my initial project in the sunshine. The hammock stand project has gone through a few dozen mental revisions, and I've had enough slight mishaps and mistakes occur to educate me a little better, nothing so serious that couldn't be corrected with a little innovation. In fact, some were welcome; they helped make me see a clearer vision of a version that would satisfy my earlier stated objectives. It actually made me see how I could make a convertible setup with just a changing some parts which can make two versions of a frame setup. They are:

Version #1 – The original double-mast version. The one made for being used for camping and the like. It's the form I'm working on now. So far, all the segments I cut can fit in the trunk of the car; so I reached the second objective.

Version #2- The deck version. A version that saves even more deck space, and requires the need of

The above pieces put together to make
a bracing point at one end of the frame

only a single mast point. The plan I have in mind still conforms to my first constraint of having no permanent attachment to the exterior of the building. This version technically requires even less material than that of my original plan, thus passes the imperative of approaching the goal of using dMass (I may have to borrow that spare wood to make corrections).

My greatest successes at this point are:

• Minimum of actual numerical measurement – I've only used my measuring tape about nine times. That was mostly just to get a rough overall assessment of how large it was going to be. The actual fabrication was done mostly by using a bevel gauge, a marking gauge, the straight edges of a roofing/combination square, and edges of the cut wood itself. This yielded for me . . .
• Making the snuggest, tightest tenons that I've ever made using soft wood. I'm impressed that I've worked myself up to having this sort of skill with mere hand tools
• Except for carabiners and eye screws attached to the hammock, it still no nails or fasteners holding the frame structure together
• Inclusion of a middle extender piece, to adjust by replacement of only one section of wood to account for the hammock fabric getting stretched, or if the hammock itself gets damaged and needs to be replaced entirely
• Only one cut/splinter so far*

The mishaps and failures so far are:

• Making the snuggest, tightest tenons that I've ever made with soft wood. I'm concerned about them being so tight that the extra strain may cause splitting and cracking around some critical pressure points on the frame. I have yet to test it out. The super-tight joints and mortises also keep my objective of an easily collapsible system (with a couple whacks of a hammer) for the sake of storage from being realized.
• A rapidly dulling ryoba saw that is finding too many knots in the wood. I noticed too late that some sections between some larger knots have looser wood fibre and would have an easier tendency to crack. I may have to dip into my reserve and buy some extra lumber to correct for these defects.
• I made my mast tenons perhaps too narrow. I think I need to fashion some sort of reinforcement struts as a correction. So much for the idea of tensegrity
• I made a poor choice for the kind of joint to use to bind a middle extender segment. This "bird's mouth" with locking pin set up wasn't a good idea, plus a loose knot I exposed now makes it inadequate. It is at least correctable, and there is enough of an end to spare to fashion another more stronger configuration
• 
  

  

  One of my boo-boo's

  I actually needed a power tool; specifically, a drill to bore some pilot holes for eye screws. I'm thankful that I have a kind neighbour who allowed me to borrow his.

So, I'm still stuck with doing these revisions and corrections piecemeal, and I'm not finished this yet. I guess there will be a part three . . .

What it will look like once finished.
Ella is in the background, awaiting the
chance to test this thing out.

*- I've discovered the hard way that while on blood-thinners, a simple brush with one small saw tooth on a fingertip can make the place look like a murder scene. I hope to be off these things by this month.

The Bachelor Spring Cleaning Chart

I've been going through a phase of insomnia since last Thursday, due to a mixed bag of reasons. I have brainstorming, with the help of Pinterest, to blame for last night's round of it. I don't know why I've been so geared to start my "spring" cleaning so early, but I did. It's something I'm usually a consummate procrastinator for doing as such. Perhaps it was due to the past few months of aching for change for the better, or a prompt from the last couple times of having avalanches of junk from top shelves falling on me when I've opened closets. Whatever the case, I welcome having now the health, energy, and motivation to commit to such a task. You'd think that making room and carting away trash would help set my mind toward a peaceful ease. However, that hasn't been happening. Instead, I've been setting my brain on fire with wild ideas, and researching ways to repurpose and reorganize space and objects after I've cleared away and purged all the surplus detritus.

This time around hasn't been as overwhelming and frustrating though. I fashioned a bit more of a sounder system for conquering clutter. For my own benefit, I've listed some common sense things to remember that greatly simplified things. Since it is very process oriented that goes through some repetitive loops, I decided to make this a flowchart, and take advantage of using a learning moment on how to create such things. To see the flowchart better, use the "Ctrl and +" keys to zoom in, and "Ctrl and - (minus)" to zoom out again.

  

Or, I could scrap all this and call the new Maids in Lingerie service, that has recently established itself here (or so I've heard)

Boxing Day Sale Shopping/Being a Decorum Dummy

I've recovered enough to at least arrive at a place to be of better humour. Recently, I was educated more about the Aboriginal shamanistic ceremony of "saging" a home. That involves the burning of a bundle of dried sage grass to produce a smoke smudge used to purify one's living space; to cleanse it of negative energy, and to drive out any unwelcome evil spirits. I learned about this by the way of someone I know, who chose this practice to close off this year: a more unfortunate one for her, and to prepare to open their home up and invite something better to come in the New Year. The Japanese also have a custom of welcoming the incoming New Year by cleaning their homes near the end of the old one: every room, from ceiling to floor. This is done to welcome the presence, and good favour and fortune of their kami, the god-spirits of the Shinto religion, into their dwellings. I have my own pre-New Year habit that is similar to that of the Japanese one. I've been cleaning in my own place as well: not so much to invite the right kind of benevolent spooks and divinities in here, but more to be mindfully organized, and to clear and set a stage for efficiency and order that will hopefully help to attract some form of prosperity, of any kind, in the New Year. Given my condition, I started today to break the process into modular phases. It should all end on New Year's Eve. I don't give much credence into stuff like conjuring up spirits, feng shui, or anything else that is as oogity-boogity. However, after this latest bout of events closing my last month and a half of this year, if rearranging furnishings and scrubbing things down coincidentally helps to rid this place of any lingering bad karma around here, I have no objections to it. I don't have any sage; I do have some sandalwood and musk incense though. I started to burn that too, just to cover my ass.

I also have another custom in my home as I organize stuff: not done so much out of superstition, but out of prudence and frugality. If I bring in a new furnishing, appliance, or technical fixture into my home, I'm relegated to clean at least the whole room where it will be stationed or stored, and then sell off/repurpose/donate/throw out the same volume of stuff (if not more). Such a ritual prevents me from accumulating clutter; and encourages me to be more thoughtful about balancing my living space, to avoid being wasteful, and to seek practical alternatives (if any). Knowing that there is ultimately an obligation (or penalty) of having to press myself into some distasteful task of cleaning later also psychologically prevents me from buying anything rashly and impulsively. Thus, to be effective and efficient, I tend to do my home furnishing shopping near the end of the year when the Boxing Day and Year End sales are on, when prices are slashed, and I'm when scheduled to clean anyway.

I looked in my living room, and said
 "I gotta have more cowbell!"
 However, that didn't happen.
Instead I did the next best thing
 and found more cowhide. Ella isn't yet
 sure if she likes it.

That past month and a half of being stuck in here and staring at my mostly naked walls has been a real sobering revelation as to how much my own condo really isn't my vision of what I would think of as a truly comfortable home. It's actually very devoid of any reflections or signatures of my true personality. Most of the time, it is just a glorified dog house, as it is in fact Ella who is the being that spends the most time inside here, strewing her chew toys all about. For me, because I spend the majority of my week at work, this place ordinarily is just utilitarian space where I sleep, bathe, do laundry, and cook and eat the occasional meal. With having all this time off, I was dumbstruck after realizing just how little time I actually spend living in here while I'm on my regular work schedule. The decorum, or rather the sad lack of it, is a true reflection of that. I realize that because of this I'm kind of reluctant to invite other people over. It's no wonder I've been staring at screens all this time, because I really don't consciously want to look at anything else around here. A few other things also prompted me to think that I should put more thought into making this a place more personalized with creature comforts, and less like a place where it looks like Value Village busted in here, drunk in the middle of the night, and vomited up random junk in every room. Things like, receiving some pictures of my brother's family in the mail, they deserve to be hung in special places. I made myself a promise to keep junk off my kitchen table and actually use it for eating my meals, instead of plunking down in front of the TV and eating mindlessly. I have a nice new(er) rug now to dissuade me from doing that, because I don't want to risk getting it soiled. Rather than collecting a new piece of technology, like I initially planned to do, I instead chose to go on the grand adventure of at least window shopping for decorum for my place.

So, I ended up taking a trip to HomeSense where, as per their moniker, I thought they would have a lot of obvious things to make a house even more homelike. To be honest, I was in a loopy/crazy disposition for much of the day, perhaps due to being (finally) hungry and having low blood sugar, right along with my already impaired uptake of blood oxygen, so my observations tended to get a little weird and skewed toward the realm of the right-brain. I made handy use of the camera on my cellphone to serve as a visual memory aide. I'll declare and affirm right now that I'm by no measure any kind of expert on home decorum, but I am wise enough to see and know what kind of crap is out there that doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever. I found a lot of instances where the store should have been renamed HomeNonsense. The following paragraphs and pictures I've listed are the random observations, home utilities, objectives for my own place, fancies, and other home-oriented concepts that made me wonder what kind of dope various artisans and craftsperson were smoking after viewing some of the stuff I saw there.

Observation: The Mega-Pot – I stumbled across a kitchen pot that would be every hard core home brewer's wet dream. The damn thing must have had at least a 120 litre capacity, a larger capacity than the fuel tanks of many half ton trucks. Being shocked and surprised, I was being silly and flippant at the moment when a young girl of seven or so, and her mother walked up to stare with awe at this strange anomaly along with me. I like kids at that age because their questions and answers are imaginative and spontaneous. Just to see the reaction, I turned to the young girl and said out loud:
"I wonder how many babies you could pack into that sucker?" She began to laugh and giggle uncontrollably, and I chuckled along right with her. Her Mama however didn't seem to appreciate this moment of levity, and kind of began to usher her away from me. At least the daughter had a sense of humour. The presence of this thing begs me to question: what kind of home is out there in which the wholesale purchasers of HomeSense thought it would be a perfectly sensible move to market a friggin' 120 litre cooking pot? This thing was made of stainless steel, and already heavy by itself.

Filled to capacity with liquid, it would easily crush my average-sized stove, that is if I could have ever got it on the damn thing! I guess this thing must have been there for that exact instant when a Hudderite colony should wander into their store looking for something to adequately cook all their borsht for them (for a whole bloody month!), or if the Jolly Green Giant comes along looking for something to steam his peas. I was going to get the young girl to stand by it to get a sense of the scale of this thing when I took the picture, but she and her mother already left, probably looking for Security. HomeSense 0, HomeNonsense 1.

Objective: The far wall opposite of my entrance at the end of my hallway – Initially, I thought I would hang a mirror on this wall space, to give it an illusion of greater space and depth. Then I thought again about when I'll be arriving home after work at night, and how I really don't want to have an instant reminder in seeing just how ghastly, disheveled, and bedraggled I look after an eleven hour day when I come through the door. I would want something a hell of a lot more welcoming than that. I may have to get creative and try to paint my own picture to hang there, but I think so far I like this one. HomeSense 1, HomeNonsense 1.

Objective: a utility, Drink Coasters – How is it that I'm using a drink coaster all the time when I'm at the bar; and yet I'm not so civilized enough to have them handy around my own home? Lord knows I do most of my serious drinking here at my own abode. Maybe I just don't set my glass down long enough around here. Apparently, throughout all this time, I've been one of those innovative bachelors who has figured out that any corner of a newspaper, or a DVD case, or the open end of one of my socks to slip around a drinking vessel works well enough to keep condensation rings and dribbles off my coffee table.

As eccentric as I am, I don't really use this kind
of makeshift coaster, but I was curious as to
know what the visual actually would look like.

However, that just doesn't work if I'm endeavoring to attract and keep a more sophisticated ilk of company. So, I decided to get some coasters. After looking around there without any success, I finally approached one of the stock clerks at the store: a somewhat scrawny, yet strangely attractive and comely young blond woman.
"Excuse me, where would I find the drink coasters?" I asked plainly. The look on her face after my query was one of an attempt to stifle bemused astonishment.
"We have no drink coasters here." she replied with a thick Slavic accent, sort of almost half spitting the answer at me before she turned away. I couldn't help but to react like this was the stupidest thing I ever heard. How in the hell can an establishment, dedicated and devoted to decorating a home with ornaments; a place that sells seemingly endless varieties of stemware, cocktail glasses and coffee/tea cups; a place that sells a plethora of tablecloths, trivets, place mats, napkins, throws, slip covers and other surface protection paraphernalia not have a single goddamned set of drink coasters in its whole entire massive inventory?! I'm being led to believe that there are dinner parties out there in this town where even the more elite homes are having their guests using magazines or their own socks slipped on their wine glasses to protect the furniture because there were none to be found anywhere. HomeSense 1, HomeNonsense 2.

Observation: Ridiculous packaging – Selling bottled water here in Canada apparently wasn't already a stupid enough idea. Unless you were going to a place with an actual tainted water supply, there is no need to buy bottled water here. Now, I just found something that trumps even that for marketing imbecility. Yes, that is, A BOX OF WATER!!! . . . a 5 litre box of water,

They actually have to add the
word "Happy" on the label
to encourage the miserably
stupid people to buy this.

packaged like it was exotic bulk wine from Chile or Australia. It's not even imported from some exotic locale, it's from right here in Canada sitting on that shelf. . . WTF !!! I was tempted initially to pick it up and check and see how outrageous the price was for such a thing, but then that impulse was quickly halted by the self-conscious fear of having some onlookers watching me handle it, and thinking to themselves, "Look at that stupid fucker over there, he is actually thinking about buying that BOX OF WATER!!!
 
Another thing that pissed me off and made me think about how affluence is making us devolve into something that is so much stupider as a society is what is in this next picture. Look at it. Kinda pretty, isn't it? Is it some finely-crafted chocolate bon-bons from Switzerland? . . . Nooooo! Is it an intoxicating fragrance from some boutique in Paris? . . .Nooooo! Is it a package of high-quality rolled up silk handkerchiefs? . . . Again, Noooooo! This is actually a package of plastic bags for collecting DOG SHIT!!! Why is it packaged like this? Is it to give people a fleeting window of appearing superior to someone else when they whip one of these out and bend over to pick up after Rover? I began looking for some gold-leaf embossed toilet paper there after I saw this. HomeSense 1, HomeNonsense 4.

Objective: Decorative, yet manly – Adjectives for things that I will not have in here: frilly, ephemeral, sparkly, pink, yellow, lacy, chiffon, fluffy, sheer, silky; that already eliminates about 40% of the merchandise in HomeSense. There are some things there that would suit me, but would go out of style too quickly as I mature. There are some definitely non-feminine, testosterone-charged things that guys embrace a little too willingly to use as ornaments in their homes, like antique license plates, sports memorabilia, heads of antlered beasts, or even the more ridiculous collections of swords and battleaxes. Unless there is an impending attack by a horde of Visigoths over the hill, I really have no need to keep medieval weaponry around the place. The same goes the relic pieces of vehicles: if I don't want that crap cluttering up my garage, why would I then draw it into my actual living space?

The weird manly things I'd probably have around here are wood carvings and figurines of animals, mathematically complex sculptures, hand puzzles and classic board games, and signs in tasteful calligraphy that reflect a simple personal philosophy, like what is seen on this serving tray. HomeSense 2, HomeNonsense 4.
 
Observation: HUH?!?! – And finally there is home ornamentation there that I just have no words for, as it just boogles my mind as to what kind of home these things would actually belong in. HomeSense2, HomeNonsense 6.

The perfect something for the gay cowboy/cult leader in the family

I don't know what this thing is supposed to
represent, but I can think of a few people
I'd like to have sitting on it.

A house is just walls and a roof, but a home is defined by the characters in it, which in turn are often reflected by the objects and artifacts that they chose to include in it and collect. Sadly, today's shopping trip was a reminder that there will always be people stupid enough to buy water in a box in a nation where it's free on the tap, and others who are pretentious and idiotic enough to by dog shit bags designed by Gucci. I wish all it took to cleanse these sorts of people away from me was burning some sort of herb. If I had only one wish for the New Year, it would be to encounter fewer and fewer people with this degree of stupidity. If that happened, about 90% of my problems in life would probably disappear.

Addendum: I at least managed to find some bloody coasters. I went to Pier One (a place too dangerously close to the Future Shop) for them. This time, I was helped by a stunningly beautiful store worker . . . another one with a thick Slavic accent coincidentally, but this time with some very pleasing proportions. They are of a black alligator skin texture (the coasters I mean, not the physical assets of the woman I mentioned). Nothing too pretty, and yet nothing too corny and cheesy: something you'd expect to find in a more sophisticated man cave.