But today is Canada Day, and a time to reflect on the nation
in comparison to the rest of the world. The morning greets me with a bit of a
chilly breeze, and a sky full of dark clouds and possibility for rain later. A
disagreeable state for this special day for sure. I started off making
breakfast the most Canadian way I could: pancakes and bacon; only for the
reason to have it serve as a platform to use maple syrup. I don’t really fancy
pancakes all that much, but it’s only thing I could make with what I had around
here right now. If I could have my patriotic breakfast of choice for the day,
if such things were available, given my true appetite (for something less
greasy), I would have been more content with some local homemade Saskatoon Jam
on some Winnipeg rye toast, maybe poached eggs for protein, and some
double-double coffee, perhaps about four cups of it if I want my brain to fly
straight right now.
My mind drifts again to subjects of contention. In regards
to our nationhood, I reflect on something that really took me totally by
surprise. As a Canadian, I’m rather ashamed to admit that I’ve been ignorant
about such a matter; it being unbeknownst to me until like just a week or so ago.
Recently, I had read a post on Facebook from one of my Danish immigrant friends about
how Canada and Denmark are currently, and have been for some while, involved in
some sort of conflict. “What?! How so?”, I wondered. How, for shit’s sake, did all
this come about? It sounds too crazy to even contemplate! Both Denmark and
Canada rank highly as being two of the happiest nations on earth, I believe
ranking first and second respectively according to one list. Both are reasonably
progressive, I’m sure, in some other human development/social well-being indices. I
always thought that there was a good political rapport between us as far as relations between nations go. How
could one nation that does delightfully ingenious things like taking its power
grid off of fossil fuels, making wonderful beer and cheese, and manufacturing
Lego, the best toy ever, get into a snit with this other nation that initiated
the idea of a peace-keeping force in the UN, sired Rush, the best power-trio progressive
rock band ever, and perhaps even had a hand in helping to liberate the other
nation in WWII?
Well . . . it turns out that Denmark and Canada are both trying
to lay claim to some frozen rock up in the Arctic Ocean: a place called Hans
Island, lying somewhere between Ellesmere Island and Greenland. This silly little
island is probably no bigger in area than the schoolyard in my neighbourhood,
except it has a lot less on it. It serves no apparent practical use whatsoever,
unless for Canada, it may be a great observation point for tracking migrating
narwhals and walruses, or else perhaps the Danes secretly found some sort of radioactive
isotope on there that would permit them unlimited energy for manufacturing Lego
blocks. Whatever the case, possession of this barren little speck on a map is somehow a
big enough deal for both nations’ respective royal navies to send patrols up
there to secure this place since 1973. The way this dispute is occurring between
forces is weirder still. Canada’s navy plants our red and white flag there and
leaves behind a bottle of whiskey to stake this place as our territory. Then
the Royal Danish Navy comes along, takes down our flag and then props up their red
and white banner, taking away the whiskey and leaving behind a bottle of Danish schnapps
as a claim to the island, which the Canadian sailors clear away later, and the
process is repeated. This place must be really remote and insignificant for Arctic dwellers, even
for the Inuit, to bother visiting, because if they knew that there were bottles
of booze just lying around on this island, and if it was more accessible, they
would be invading the place for sure**. Both nations seem to be opting for the
same strategy: of either somehow making the other opponent sailors too pleasantly
pissed to want to fight, or just dulled into indifference to care about a stupid chunk of
Arctic rock out in the middle of nowhere. As far as conflicts go involving
military engagement between nations, it is a strange little affair, and I am l
relieved to say that it is as such. It probably makes for the friendliest sort
of “battle” for a patch of land that’s currently happening on this Earth right
now. It makes one think that if this battle were to escalate or intensify, the
resulting dead flesh amidst this conflict of nations would probably (hopefully)
just amount to an exchange of Canadian bacon and Danish ham along with the
spirits.
There sometimes is a perplexing vagueness involved in trying
to find out what it is that gives us as Canadians our own unique national identity.
As a natural born citizen here, I still struggle to find all-encompassing
adjectives to describe what and who we precisely are. However, the paragraph
above is fine example of how things are approached when it comes to conflict
here compared to other nations: stand your ground when you must; try to settle
things kindly when you are allowed to do so. I’m happy that my greatest nuisances
are akin to the noises of car alarms blaring off accidently, or the fireworks bursting
off later this evening that will terrify my dog, rather than the sounds of
bombs going off around me. In viewing the news as of late, I’m glad that we are
a lot luckier in this respect than a lot of other nations.
Tonight, as I view the fireworks from my balcony, hopefully without any rain, I’ll raise
one of my glasses of whiskey to any Danes out there and wish a peaceful
resolution between us, one way or another, and hope there’s some Dane out there
raising their shot of schnapps on his or her national holiday wishing the same. Right
now, no one is really hurting from this little conflict, and I hope it stays
that way.
*- For
the benefit of my friends who use English as their second language, a note about
how stupid this language sometimes is. If you are content, it means you are pleased and satisfied; yet if you have contention, it is the complete opposite
of that, meaning that one is involved in a dispute, or becoming upset by a
disagreement.**- Let's not kid ourselves: regardless of ethnicity of the people living up there, the higher rates of alcoholism and substance abuse, and fewer available resources for intervention, continue to be the worst of the social ills in the remote and isolated Northern and Arctic communities.
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