Wednesday, December 18th, 2013
The temperature has been dropping since the moon became full yesterday. I just wandered in from walking the dog after work tonight in the -39 wind chill. What the evening sky lacked in yielding any warmth outside it made up for in shining down beauty. It was worth it to trek around out there to watch the northern lights as they rippled and unfurled overhead; even given the brightness of the moon, they still shone brilliantly. I'm back in now and just relaxing; sipping one of my homebrewed amber ales, and comforting myself with some pre-solstice/yuletide fireside ambience. I have no desire to rot the rest of my mind away watching television. This moment is the first time I've felt close to what I would call comfort in a long time, but I'm still restless enough to do some writing.
Through helping a friend with a home project recently, and with sensing the walls closing in around me, I was spurred on to do my own bit of home space management with rearranging some furniture in my living room. I'm satisfied with it, but since I moved the chesterfield, the dog has been moping around, and giving me the stink eye for eliminating her cozy hiding "burrow" in my living room. My friend's project, my own desperate need for a change in scenery, and the recent need to accommodate a bedroom for my visiting mother prompted me to explore Airbnb* for possible lodging options for my own affordable vacation, which I will hopefully have some day. It seems to be the best option to use when travelling solo, and going off the beaten path, which is what I prefer doing. There is no time left to waste waiting for Ms. Right to come along to share such an adventure with me. I'd have more freedom without a cohort anyway, plus through using this service I'd bypass the ridiculous "double occupancy" stipulations in which stupid travel agencies use in their packages to discriminate against single people by denying them the same discounts, or sometimes even raising the rates for a single occupant. It's like the world unjustly puts sanctions against a person for daring to have enough wits and independence to opt for being solitary. It has become sickening and tiresome for a person like me** being dictated to, judged by, and controlled by a bunch of loner-haters.
If things really were to work out perfectly, I'd get the money to do all this from the other thing I've been trying for each early part of January for the past three years: registering online for the opportunity for making some serious cash with all the free-floating trivia rattling around in my skull; the opportunity to make all this useless information useful. However, I won't hold my breath for that to happen.
Saturday, December 21st, 2013
Winter Solstice Day. Denial has escaped me, and has been replaced by a dreadful realization that I've done absolutely no Christmas shopping. Also, I'm behind on the commitment of cooking treats for a party I'm to help prepare for, and that I'll have to creep out there amongst the teeming hordes before I head to work. What's really going to scramble shit up is knowing that I'm doing a night shift on Monday, so efficient use of waking hours will be compromised.
*- My friend's mission was to furnish and post a bedroom space for rent for this site. I'm regretting now that neither my own suite's dimensions, nor my condo's regulations can accommodate for a possibility of making a profit through hosting. I would present a photo of my own recent re-arrangement, but for some reason the upload function isn't working.
**- Yes, I classify myself as a loner; I prefer it that way, and I'm not at all ashamed of it. My problem is the attitude of others who won't accept that, or with those who automatically presume that I have the worst traits that they imagine loners having; thus it doesn't make me anymore willing to hang around such people as these. The other reason I keep a blog is to periodically present some sort of 'proof of life' to those who know me well enough, but whom I rarely get a chance to see on a frequent basis. Despite having a job that demands a relatively higher level of interpersonal engagement, my actual reserve of social energy is very limited. By the time I get home, I'm thoroughly drained and 'all peopled out'. If you really want to accurately know why I get along so well with the friends I do have (who are also fellow loners), plus my general attitudes to partnerships, love and sex, travel and leisure, read the book, Party of One: a Loners' Manifesto by Anneli Rufus.
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