I'm so glad that February is finally over, but it didn't end without strain. I spent the last two nights of it, each one until around 3:00 AM, immersed in paperwork; preparing stuff for deadlines due on March 1st. It's like gambling under duress. The resulting headaches from all the analysis and reorganizing of things have been so brutal, and didn't fully disappear until today. My head has been made too numb with fatigue. Dealing with stuff for investments inevitably leads me to think of questions and speculations about the future. Not really financial or economic ones per se, but ones leaning more toward possible social, environmental, and geo-political changes, and ramifications*. It is from this where some of my current angst and unrest probably comes from: in not being able to foresee much in the years and decades ahead beyond something bleak and dystopian, on several levels ranging from the local to the global. No matter what avenue of investment I take, it would be seemingly pointless in the long run if it ultimately will be lost some way, or doesn't garner me any means of future happiness, or any protection from socio-economic and environmental factors and failures that are beyond my control. Thus, being engaged with such decisions becomes draining, and mentally taxing for me.
I finally began running outside this morning: for my first outdoor run of the year 2013. It was only two kilometers, but enough to reintroduce my leg muscles to such rigour now that there is enough ice free street surface to stride out across, and just long enough to re-acclimate my lungs properly, and to trigger them and my sinuses to rid themselves of a winter's worth of respiratory stagnancy. The skiing has been helpful, but it's not an accurate physical substitute, or facsimile, compared to running. With a reminder from my friend, it has struck me that my half-marathon that I signed up for is less than three months away. I'm trying to be mindful to temper my regenerating sciatic nerve slowly and properly.
*- Things like disturbing facts regarding: Education - Almost 70% of this globe's population believes in the ridiculous meme of creationism instead of the scientific evidence supporting evolution; Resource Management - It has been estimated that the energy equivalent of 4-6 barrels of oil is used to draw out just one barrel of it out of the Earth (If I said that I was paying 4-6 dollars to work for every one dollar I earned, I would be called crazy); Social Justice - This past exposure of the ignorance, corruption, and racist agendas on both sides of the fence of the "Idle No More" movement is probably a small glimpse of the unrest that's coming ahead in this nation; Agriculture - Farming is done by only (an aging) 2% of the growing global population, on increasingly depleted land, and yet the amount of industrial scale food production/processing waste is alarmingly increasing; Population - There are seven billion people living on a planet with, given our current rate of wasteful/inefficient resource usage, a carrying capacity of less than four billion, while at the same time, some religious institutions are still maintaining political influence/lobbying in many nations for preaching against and outright forbidding of family planning/birth control. These are only a few of the things that bother me about mankind. With such ignorance, impending limits and shortages, and uncontrolled growth, we are due for a worldwide collapse of civilization very soon. I can only hope that some definitely major paradigm shift is happening ahead to intercede.
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