Day Off Project: Kitchen Reclaimation

It was disappointing to see that my first day off after this crazy week was rainy. It took the wind out of my sails for checking out most of the things I wanted to see today. If I couldn’t escape to a place with a totally new scene, the next best thing was to make some radical, yet inexpensive, changes at home. Plan B was then put into effect: I did something practical by cleaning and rearranging my kitchen. Most of my afternoon was used for scrubbing and degreasing surfaces, ceiling to floor, wall to wall; economizing space, de-cluttering, taking inventory, and purging useless items. Totally exhausting, monotonous, and boring, for sure, but it was something I meant to do ages ago; I’m happy that I overcame this procrastination and that it’s finally done and over with. Once I get, assemble, and install some other fixtures from Lee Valley and Canadian Tire, I think I’ll find the results satisfactory.

Throughout the process, given my work schedule, I was thinking about just how little time I actually spend ‘living’ in my own home throughout the course of a day. Seeing that Ella stays in here longer during the day than I do by far, in reality, my condo is turning out to be just a glorified doghouse. I was at a point where I had to fuss around and convert/remodel it to reclaim my space to enjoy it more if I’m going to be around home for the next few days. I have other ambitions of dealing with the other rooms the same way, the theme being to make better use of my vertical space, but right now I’m just eating the elephant one bite at a time. The kitchen was just the most important one to get finished first.

My kitchen represents the busiest, most productive, most creative place, in my home that yields the most tangible results. It has been since moving to this place without any workshop space. Throughout the years, I have gained a better working knowledge of efficiently operating in a kitchen more so than the average bachelor, but I could always find ways to improve. I must note that my kitchen environment at home is radically different from the one I use at work for the odd bit of food prep I do there. People who witness me cooking there are not seeing the genuine way I cook for myself. Let me run you through my BACHELOR style of cooking and meal prep:

1.       Blades – My personal cooking maxim is, “Nothing makes a kitchen like state of the art weaponry.” Unlike the knives at work, mine are well-honed and kept razor sharp. They aren’t subjected to the stupidity of being used as can openers, nor are they used to chop through frozen food, and they sure as hell aren’t ever put in the dishwasher for cleaning. The samurai of ancient feudal Japan revered the crafted sharpness of their weapons so much that they believed that their swords were animate beings, i.e. that they actually possessed living souls. I’m sure that if the Bushido, their warriors’ code, stayed contemporary today, it would have a most excruciating punishment reserved for those who would dare inflict the degrading torture to a soul-endowed cutting edge by allowing it to be debased in scalding heat, and then dulled to shit by rattling and clanking around inside a steamy, mechanized cauldron. My big Chinese cleaver is the most versatile and favourite bladed weapon. . . er, implement in my kitchen.

2.       Aromatics - The choice of quality and freshness in herbs and spices is what I think makes a hugely major difference between being a masterful chef, and being just a shit-flinging monkey of a chef. I use fresh garlic cloves and ginger root; not that pre-chewed looking shit that comes in jars. I grow my own fresh herbs (basil, sage, thyme, oregano, spicy peppers), and use them fresh whenever they're available. Dried herbs and aromatics aren’t all bad, (I actually prefer using dried chili peppers over fresh ones), but it’s senseless to use them if they are really old and stale (as is so often the case at work) Brushing the dust off what's covering such a spice container and adding it to you food is probably about as effective.

3.       Containers – It's rare to find nutritious stuff that comes in single sizes, so I cook lots from scratch, thus leftovers are pretty much a given for me. Proper storage and freezer containers are must haves. My storage containers are stacked compactly and conveniently in one cupboard, and each one has an actual corresponding lid. They are mostly square or rectangular, to fit in a cubic space like a fridge better. There are no half gnawed up things left on plates wrapped in cellophane wrap in my fridge.

4.       Hot Sauce(s) – The strongest stuff at work is, at best, a pussified condiment compared of some of the sauces I have around here. I thought of bringing some for them to sample, but I’m sure the potency of this stuff would only fuel a bizarre incident of some sort. I don’t want to create anymore unnecessary drama than already is there.

5.       Efficient Energy Usage – The waste factor is significantly lower here, both in terms of time, ingredients, and energy. I have everything in arm’s reach, I can prepare five meal’s worth of stuff within an hour using one oven burner and a third of the water (per person) when I prepare food here.

6.       Liquor – I don’t have this at my convenience at work. For cooking, I have found using dark or amber beer for making stew essential. I use wine for marinades, I can flambé things and make interesting sauces with brandy and other liqueurs. Plus, internal use of it does a lot to fire up my culinary imagination.

7.       Open Mind – One thing I don’t hear around here is a big chorus of “Ewww!” when I openly wonder about experimenting with things like octopus salad, beef tripe tacos, steak and kidney pie, eel sushi, blood puddings, vegetarian lasagna, durian, and other exotic fare. I have tried all the aforementioned stuff by the way. Liked most of it. The only foods that make me gag are: turnips, salted ray/shark meat, and certain other ranker forms of canned fish.

8.       Ratios, not recipes – I rarely ever use a recipe (I don’t seem to put a lot of effort into remembering them anyway). My saving grace is that I’m aware of only a few basic proportion ratios, and cooking temperatures to keep in mind when preparing things like rice, beef, pork, chicken, fish, and some forms of dough and batter. All else is experimentation. The only thing I get a little more regulated and scientific about in the kitchen is when it comes time to make beer.