[TV Commercials] + [Neo-Citron] = WTF???

I wasted almost an entire weekend watching TV, since I was pretty much too useless to do anything else as I sat around here all loaded up on Neo-Citron; I sure had a wildly different viewing experience when I was in this state though. Typically, I watch pre-recorded TV from my computer hard drive after I come home from work, and I generally skip through all the commercials.While the TV is on at work, my mind is usually somewhere else, or I'm too distracted by other tasks to give them any analysis for criticism. Here is just a bunch of random questions and observations that burbled up into my cold remedy addled mind, mostly inspired by the commercials I glimpsed.

I noticed that there were lots of repetitive advisories on one channel about Depression Awareness. Should I find it amusingly ironic, or fittingly appropriate that Valentine’s Day occurs right in the middle of the month of the year that generally has the highest number of diagnosed cases and medical treatment of depression in Canada? With love (or lack of it) and depression mixed together, it makes me think that this month should be renamed Emo-bruary. Of course, there was a preponderance of pharmaceutical ads for anti-depressants amidst that lot. If our society was indeed more optimistic; given the occasion coming, you’d think there would be more Cialis, Viagra, and K-Y lube commercials.

I don’t know if it’s just the medication affecting me, or if it’s more subliminal suggestion, or something else going on to create some better memetic device to accord with the coming of Valentine’s Day, but I’ve noticed that the phrase “hot and juicy” has been especially salient in fast food commercials.

When the hell did advertisers, or I guess the media in general, think that it was a great idea to make it a general characteristic for beavers to be speaking with British accents? I noticed that on a Netflix commercial, and also I remember seeing a beaver speaking that way when I saw one bit of The Chronicles of Narnia movie in passing as well. This is highly improper because, a.) beavers are native to North America and, b.) the beavers are often steadily engaged in what can be construed as doing physical labour, quite unlike the British who do speak with the upper class, intellectual, Queen’s English accent. Yes, how very unbecoming. The beavers should rightfully be feeling insulted. I suppose the key thing to making a product or service seem more reliable in the world of North American television advertising, is to anthropomorphize animals such that they speak like Jeeves the butler, or something. The Geicko gecko is another example. I wonder if that trend is somehow reversed for some of the TV adverts in the UK. Maybe their version of the Geicko gecko sounds like Billy Joe Bubba the septic tank cleaner.

If it only takes a few cents a day to feed a child in Africa, wouldn’t you think that more there would be more parents from here sending their kids over there?

“. . . the best tasting dog food your pet will ever eat.”Who were the people who went out of their way to determine this? Are these results from some kind of testing that they performed on prisoners, or thehomeless?

I discovered the hard way that I can’t watch Canada’s Worst Handyman on the DiscoveryChannel while I have a respiratory affliction. Laughing at that kind of idiocy sends me into uncontrollable and painful coughing fits.

When I see hip-hop gangster hamsters, squaring off with break-dancing robot soldiers, and a KIA Soul automobile all within the same commercial space, and knowing that there is some producer of this commercial out there thinking, “Yes, so it’s obvious that the general public will see the correlation!”, I can only conclude that the crack babies are all grown up now, and have taken careers in television advertising. Maybe they should try out Neo-Citron.