In Remembrance of Grandma

It was last week, the day after my birthday, when I last visited my 90 year old Grandmother, my Mom's Mom. My Mom first called me, explaining how her state of health has been going downhill, and that it all began with some spell which resulted with her kidney function starting to shut down. After her trip to the hospital, she was moved to a facility for temporary respite care. Her physical health declined so much since the last few months ago since we last visited that I even failed to recognize her at first. I talked with her a while. She was still together mentally, even remembering to wish me a happy birthday, and sharing with me the goings on of her past few days with all her visitors with good detail. However, her energy was such that she couldn't keep a conversation up for very long; not without draining her further, or impairing her ability to be understood. I couldn't delude myself in thinking that such a condition of someone who was 90 years young was going to improve, and what was important for me that afternoon was to give her that one last hug and kiss, and to tell her that I loved her. It was hard to witness her suffering this way; but to spend this bit of time with her was perhaps my most valuable birthday gift.

I received the official word that my Grandmother died yesterday evening. When death came to her, I'm thankful to say that it was a relatively quick coupe de grace, and she didn't suffer long, and I'm thankful that she departed this realm without any dementia, or any other severe mental degradation; still lucid enough to be able to recognize her family and loved ones. When I heard the news, I didn't find myself crying, or struck with, or bound up in any other heavy or deep expression of grief. I wasn't reacting with a mindset of a mourner; I chose instead the perspective of gratitude of what and who she was. I thought in a way as one who could perhaps be responsible for delivering the eulogy for at her upcoming funeral, even though I'm hardly one to be worthy of giving a commentary of such depth and scope of existence for someone who has lived out her time on this earth for nine tenths of a century. We all die, and to be given the chance to live a long life independently, to witness the coming of your great-great grandchildren, and to do it all with a clear and lucid mind is, what I would suppose, the best blessing one can get. It's not really a time to mourn; but a time to honestly celebrate the life of someone who has received such a blessing. I'm so glad that gift was bestowed upon my Grandmother, and I'll always see her as someone who deserved it. .

Thank you so much for everything Grandma, for the fellowship and friendship you gave to others, for the laughter and humour you had, and for collectively making us a better family. See you again on the weekend, along with the rest of us.

With love always, your eldest grandson

Brian

On This Birthday...

I made it through another year of life. I'm grateful. I hardly think it's worth posting and pinning down just how old I am now, because I just completed a 'real age' test at http://www.realage.com, and I actually got physically younger since the last time I took it; still registering as a few years less than my actual chronological age. That's something else for which I'm thankful. Here are a few more points listed for which I'm grateful for today with the coming of this gift of a new year of life:

• I had this day off from work, and I didn't have to slog through a ridiculous night shift. Hence, I was able to enjoy this day with some semblence of lucidity. I'll forego any other comment I have about work, or what I'd like to see happen, except that I've reached the point where I'm going to have to put more focus on finding and achieving what is rewarding for me to do.
• I received my driver's license renewal notice in the mail today, which also reminded me that my photo had to be renewed. I never pay attention to how my driver's license photo looks, so I checked it out today. I'm happy to say that it appears that I changed for the better since the last shot of me. Again, thankful.
• The sky was cloudless, and the temperature reached up in the high 20's through the day. The leaves have started to turn their fall colours by the river. It was the perfect scene for the run I've committed myself to do today. I passed 25 kms (thinking now that perhaps I overdid it). Noting this, I've set the goal to reach 2000 kms of recorded running distance before the end of September. It would be nice just to step out each day to watch the season flow as the autumn landscape reveals itself and passes away. I hope there'll be a nice long string of days coming ahead just like this one was.
• Taking the time to binge on a few carb loaded goodies. I had no cake, but savoured some scallops and fettucini, and a few fistfuls of sweets...heavenly.
• I missed out on sharing company with those I wanted to spend time with, people like Jessica Biel, Mila Kunis, Scarlett Johannsen, Olivia Munn...oh well...their loss I guess. Thankful for having this kind of imagination.
• Happy to see some greetings from the rest of you who chose to sent them. Thanks a lot.