The 14th of 14 days

I just arrived home from work tonight, sitting outside on my deck and watching the supermoon in all its fullness, at least for a little while before it becomes enshrouded with the approaching inky black clouds. I'm thankful for the bit of a break from the cloudiness and rain that stuck itself here for the past few days. The thought of heading out for a nightcap somewhere came, but it quickly passed. The truth is that I'm frustrated and tired; so far away from being my ideal self to even think of wandering into some pub, or attempting to be social. I'm all "peopled out"; yet I need some safe way to vent. So, I chose this route.

Between my regular job and union business, I've had a fourteen day workweek. Today was the last day of it all, and the two days off coming up will be less than ideal weather-wise. I always used to look forward to this day: the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. But now, I'm less than enthused. I'm so bankrupt energy-wise. I only feel darkening days coming ahead, both figuratively and literally. Nothing but cloudy skies and rain is in the forecast, and a possible oncoming surge of swelling river due to the havoc happening in Alberta right now. There have been power outages, and probably more to come with the predicted thunderstorms. I doubt if it will be enjoyable, or long enough to refresh me, knowing that this coming Monday I'll just be stepping into a scene of negotiations that's going to make me want to go ballistic and tear my own hair out.

One thing that has been draining me is brooding with a lot of anger. As good as it was to attend my local's convention this past Wednesday and Thursday, gaining such an overload of information and sobering picture of the facts in the report card of what these graft-fed provincial and federal governments are doing to our Crown businesses, public sectors, healthcare sectors, and the stupid amendments of our labour laws, that impact not just unionized labour, but all workers in this province, has left me completely disillusioned with right wing politics. I've given up hope in thinking that anything political will ever serve as salvation a long time ago. We live under a regime that wants to control us by enslaving us with debt, poverty, and corporate influence, and they threaten us more with messing with the terms of hours worked effecting overtime pay, and stripping us of our right to take strike action.

I hope there is someone around next time to slap some sense into me before I allow myself to take on another string days like this again. I'll close this now before I get even more enraged as I start elaborating on the topic. The best thing I can do for myself for the next couple days is to do anything else than be a miserable bastard. I just don't know what or where in my private home life that I should pick up on out of the numerous things around here that seem to have been neglected in the past two weeks.

That Kind of Day

Today is a long dreary rainy day. It's coming down in sheets now. It's hard to believe that the summer solstice is only a week away. It's the kind of day where one feels obligated to settle down and relax. What it could be is:

1. a homemade soup and bread making while listening to tunes kind of day
2. a blog some crazy ideas kind of day
3. a browse the bookstore kind of day
4. a start reading a new novel kind of day
5. a pencil and puzzle book/sketch pad day
6. a blow the dust off the Wii console and play video games day
7. a cheesy sci-fi/cult comedy movie from Netflix watching afternoon kind of day
8. a read Make, and other such magazines, and dream up of a project kind of day
9. a rewire my sound/home entertainment system kind of day
10. a watch TED talks kind of day
11. a reorganize my playlists and iTunes library kind of day
12. a nap with the dog on the chesterfield kind of day
13. a get my ass to the gym and do some back/core/strength training kind of day
14. a cocktail experimentation/formulation kind of day
15. an embracing one's inner nerd kind of day
16. a learn some more programming kind of day

But that's not the kind of damn day it's going to be. I've only managed to do (a half-assed job of) points 1 and 2. The reality is that this is day eight of a 14 day stretch of work days; I'm feeling so burnt out already, and it's like there has been no way to find any solace. There has been only one night during this time that I haven't slept like crap.

The list I produced is the stuff that I feel like I only have enough energy for. Running usually is a remedy, but for some reason, it has become a greater challenge than usual. I'm trying it today, despite the heavy rain. Lately, on even short distances, I feel like I'm slowly being smothered, with my breathing becoming badly arrested. I'm hoping it's not some kind of seasonal pollen allergy or something. I hope the heavy rain will settle it down if it is, but I'm not optimistic. If it occurs again next time, I think I'll need to see a doctor. The only sort of social leisure I have lined up ahead is a supper after a convention I'm attending next week, but I honestly don't think I'll be up for it if I'm even more drained than I am feeling now.

I found an app to try to deal with this failure in my resilience. It's called SuperBetter. However, I've been slacking in using some time to commit to interface with it. The concept of it is really quite interesting. It will make more sense after watching the TED talk by its developer, Jane McGonigal.

I touched on www.codeacademy.com for a bit. The format of the site is great for anyone wanting to learn some programming. I think I found my substitute for TV, now that I discontinued my cable service.